November 9, 2020
That was my father. He built "secret underground bases", missile siloes, dams, bridges... anything large scale. He is in 20 or so volumes of Who's Who, most presidents are in 4-8, and he had been to 196 countries in his lifetime, 4 more than existed when he died about 2 years ago... and if were still alive I wouldn't be here right now. He was also a member of President George HW Bush's Inner Circle. We are an "Evil Royal Family" in the "Sci-Fi Mythology" of "My Star Wars" where they are living in my Rube's Universe, and we all have made up code names. EFM was a very good pool hustler who only the top tournament players could beat... and he's "James Bond's" first born son. So I like to call him... "008 Ball".
You've actually heard EFM speak before, in a way... in Independence Day! The UseNet UFO Forums were VERY influential. They were the source material for both Art Bell & Chris Carter. It was were the scientists debate UFOs, so that's where everyone came with their UFOs stories and we argued them. EFM once told me one way that black projects were funded driving down the highway. I said it on UseNet, and it made it into the movie!
"You don't think they pay $800 for a hammer or $30,000 for a toilet seat, do you?" is EFM!
Only one code name is real, the real code name of the real "James Bond"... "Jinker Pinker".
"Jinker Pinker is the hardest person in the world to find!" - ESM, from a made up children's story he told us.
Be sitting down, this isn't over, hahaha... "Royal Family of the Men in Black"!
EFM's little brother Richard Alexander Michalik was a legendary weapons designer and MIT alumni. He specialized in missile guidance system and he practically invented electronic warfare. He also worked on things like particle beams, magnetic accelerator cannons, and was one person who single-handedly built spy satellites so that he was the only person in the world who knew how it worked. America's "Electronics Wizard" of the Cold War. He really might actually be the closest thing to Dr. Brakish Okun that we ever really had. When I asked EFM if he had ever worked in Area 51 "008 Ball's" response was "Marc, your uncle works in the kinds of places for which Area 51 is merely the fucking cover story."
These are the people I was surrounded by for my entire life, and how I know these things... mostly. I got a little of it from being a "Ufologist".
November 9, 2020
Ok... Since I know everyone is going to want to know about "Grandpa Bond", I have it pre-written... His "Profile" as the "Star King" of the Galactic Concordium, the "Evil Empire" of my sci-fi universe...
Name: Edward Stanley “Mars” Michalik, “The Soul”
Theme Song: Guns & Roses, Live & Let Die
Nicknames: Ed, Arch Angel of OSS, The Walking Nuclear Weapon, “The Real John Rambo Who Could Actually Fly”, The Real James Bond, Captain Kirk
Title: King Edward
Code Name: Jinker Pinker
Publicly Known Code Name: 007
Personal Victory Phrase: “Pinker, Jinker Pinker... I LOVE HAM!!!”
Professional Victory Phrase: “Shine the Light & Climb to Glory!”
HAM's Initials: ESM, Extra Special Man.
Signature Items: 1911 Pistol, US Army Drill Instructor Whistle, US Army Corps of Engineers Compass, Endless Collection of Special Forces Unit Patches (Featuring the 10th Mountain Division), Small Collection of Ancient East Asian Artifacts, Three Japanese Pachinko Machines From Tokyo, Home Basement Steel Trap Gun Range, Home Den Global HAM Radio Station, Civil War Era Lead Toy Soldier Molds, Basement Pool Table & Bookshelf Used To Learn By Jinker Pinker, 008 Ball, Wizard, & Baby Bond. And, of course, ESM's Daily Breakfast... 1 Bagel, Two Fried Eggs, 1 Slab of Fried Spam, and 1 Glass of Orange Juice.
Favorite Activity: “Extreme Sports”, Meditation, Contemplation of Eastern Philosophy
Car: 1969 GTO Judge (Green with Black vinyl hard top)
Post War Theme Song: Johnny Rivers, Secret Agent Man
“Bond... James Bond...” Unquestionably the person with “the best claim of being the real James Bond”. The blueprint that Admiral Godfrey, Colonel “Wild Bill” Donovan, and Ian Fleming created both found Edward S Michalik training special forces at Fort Bragg & Fort Benning, and the 10th Mountain Division at locations around the nation, and inspired Ian Fleming to create the very different “James Bond” character. Grandpa Michalik was like a blending of John Rambo & Dezi Arnez... he was nothing at all like “James Bond”. The reverence for him within the American military and intelligence communities that lived on into the Cold War, and even today, comes from his being one of the “original instructors” of US Special Forces and the very first instructor of OSS agents during WWII. And, of course, in the 1940's and early 1950's he was one of the only people in the world who could “SkyHook”. HALO jump in, SkyHook out... he could actually fly! He was also on General Douglas MacArthur's Staff during the occupation of Tokyo... his bodyguard, and an explosives ordnance disposal expert... the first person who was expected to jump on a grenade to save MacArthur and/or the Staff if it was necessary. Among the military, this duty during his time on MacArthur's staff may be the most relevant thing too them in 2019. The “legacy” of Edward S “Jinker Pinker” Michalik today are the “Angels” of the Defense Intelligence Agency... what OSS eventually became... and the “Angels” are vaguely known too the public as “Delta Force” (“D”... “Delta”... “DIA”). But the “Angels” usually operate alone, not as a unit like the imaginary “Delta Force” which has never actually existed.
“There's your Bond...” - Bill Engvall
OSS was said to have been disbanded at the end of WWII, but anyone who thinks about that for 2 seconds should realize that was a lie. At the end of the war we decided we didn't need any intelligence agencies at all and just disbanded OSS? That's a silly and ridiculous notion, isn't it? OSS, the Office of Strategic Services, became “The Working Group” tasked with creating a modern intelligence agency for the post-war world. “The Old Men of OSS”, probably even including the lowly Lieutenant Jinker Pinker, decided that the German Reich had the best model of a modern intelligence agency... “Abwehr”, German Military Intelligence. A “central” library of collected information staffed with analysts who never actually do anything, but step forward to take the blame for all of the field agent agencies who are actually doing things in the world. A “Central Intelligence Agency”... a “firewall” in 21st century terms... meant to be the place where all data from all agencies is collected in one place, “The Library”, while the “satellite” agencies actually do all of the field work. As any follower of the “MIB Conspiracy Theory” can tell you... “The Working Group”, OSS, brought many former German intelligence agents to America through Operation Paperclip and the early American intelligence community really did have a significant number of former German Abwehr agents involved with it. But they were under the control of OSS and the executive branch... there was no sinister Nazi conspiracy or infiltration of America. The opposite was the case, they were “the good guys” who wanted to come to America, become Americans, and use their talents and knowledge to help America... just like Werner von Braun.
OSS eventually re-emerged out of CIA in 1961 as its own agency and OSS/“The Working Group” became the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA). Military Intelligence/Counter-Intelligence. They are... they really are... the people that the public perceives as the “Men in Black” or the “Shadow Government”. The military counter-intelligence agency of the executive branch of government, the people who are SUPPOSED to have that level of power. There is nothing “shadowy” about it, they are the “military arm of the executive branch” and they work directly for the president. The are “The Nuclear War People”, they “own” the underground world of the United States whether it is NORAD, “Area 51”, or the hundred or so other subsurface US military facilities that the world has never heard of before... like most of the “Pentagon City Network” (such as “The Long Lines Building” in NYC, which is only the “Top Hat” of a large underground telecommunications facility) which maintains communications between major cities after a nuclear war has happened. DIA “outranks” CIA... and their “Angels” are “The Real James Bonds” of this world. Exactly as Will Smith puts it in the theme song from the MIB movie... “We're your first, last, and only line of defense”... “American Cockroaches”. And then they are also “counter-intelligence”... they defend America against the other intelligence agencies of the world, such the KGB/FSB... OFTEN operating within the United States to do so. If America wanted to assassinate a foreign agent, or anyone, it would almost certainly be a DIA “Angel” who would carry out that mission. The FBI is not capable of taking on the KGB/FSB or other foreign intelligence agencies. The Russian equivalent of DIA is not the KGB/FSB, it is GRU (Russian Military Intelligence). One major aspect of how DIA operates is “intimidation”... so the black suits, the glasses, the ray guns, and the “we have alien technology” of the Cold War all makes perfect sense. Right? Scare the Russians... with a Jasper Maskelyne-like Roswell “Magic Trick”!!! “We have alien technology, don't mess with us!” “Men in Black”...
EFM (008 Ball) may have known what Jinker Pinker did after the war... but probably not. All that I know about ESM's involvement with military and intelligence after he returned from Tokyo is that he definitely continued working for the US military and what OSS became until at least the late 1950's, and almost certainly until the late 1960's. Even into the early 1980's he appeared to be controlling agents “as a hobby” from his home HAM radio station about 15 years after he had clearly retired from active duty... or maybe he was just allowed to speak to his “friends” in the field and he wasn't even involved as a “controller”. EFM was the person who first began to suspect that the life story his father told was a lie. His father was not qualified to oversee the construction of buildings, the reason he had given for being in Tokyo. The plumbing company he owned was an obvious cover story, 008 Ball grew up to be an expert in all the things his father had lied too him about... so he knew those things could not be true. ESM knew very little about plumbing, and the people who worked at the plumbing company (that was literally given too him by a retired colonel) only rarely saw him. But, really, all you had to do was meet him and talk too him for 3 minutes to realize that he was not a plumber. His presence, size, intelligence & wisdom, knowledge of the world, personality, and charisma ruled out “plumber” in a matter of minutes too anyone who met him. Over the course of about three decades, 008 Ball & Baby Bond gradually put together the real story of “Jinker Pinker”... to ultimately discover that he was actually “The Real James Bond” who was not anything at all like “James Bond”.
“Climb to Glory!”
Jinker Pinker's End Story Song & Legacy/DIA Theme Song: Rush, Everyday Glory