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ET experiencer or mental illness? Need answers..
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Jen Bogart
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July 11, 2019 - 10:27 am
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Hello everyone. After lurking this forum for a couple of months, I’ve finally registered an account. Posting here will be my final attempt at finding answers before heading to a psych doc. If they are delusions, I can’t take anymore of it. I feel like I can’t trust my own mind. If they aren’t delusions, I need to know.

 

I don’t even know where to begin here, so I guess we’ll go in chronological order. My first and only memory of actually seeing something with my own eyes (and remembering it) was at age 3 or 4. I woke up in the middle of the night to several beings (between 3 and 5 faces, I can’t remember exactly how many there were) standing over my bed. I can’t remember what they looked like, except that they emitted some sort of light from their bodies or heads and I knew they weren’t suppose to be there. I screamed or tried to scream, it was so long ago that I can’t remember. I just know that I was terrified. My mom said I had night terrors when I was really young but again, this is the only one I remember. I spent the remainder of my childhood having convinced myself that it was just some kind of residual visual hallucination after waking from a bad dream. But this was the first and only time I can ever recall experiencing any kind of visual hallucination (if that is what it was) upon waking.

 

I’ve felt the presence of something or someone around me for as long as I can remember. As a child it made me uneasy but I think that uneasiness was because I just didn’t understand it. When I hit puberty (extremely early) I became severely depressed, to the point that my teachers called my parents in for meetings about me. They all said I was showing signs of sexual abuse, but I don’t recall being abused at all. My parents finally brought me to a psychologist at age 11-12 and the doctor said the same thing, that she believed I was abused and repressed the memory.

 

At around the same age I developed a sort of messiah complex. I thought I was responsible for “saving” people and felt immense shame for every single time I had hurt or wronged anyone. I became obsessed with it, overwhelmed by it, and felt like I had to confess and apologize for every bad thing I had ever done, even “wrongs” that I had committed years before - no matter how insignificant. I had this massive amount of empathy for people and the world that emerged seemingly out of nowhere. I remember literally crying myself to sleep at night, begging God to “give me their pain so they don’t have to feel it.” In retrospect, I don’t think that was normal for an 11-year old child.

I had frequent, brutal nose bleeds all throughout my childhood. This is actually not uncommon, especially in kids with allergies. But I don’t want to leave anything out here, especially if these small details can help an ET experiencer explain what could be happening with me.

The last couple of years my memory has gone downhill fast. I have trouble with word recall and lose my thought before it is finished. And no matter how hard I try to “retrace my thoughts” I often can’t remember what I was thinking about or trying to say. Last year around this time I went to a neurologist to see if there was something wrong with my brain. In addition to the short-term memory loss, something strange began to occur at night as I prepared to sleep. Imagine turning all your bedroom lights off, climbing into bed and closing your eyes. Shortly after closing your eyes, you begin to see bright light through your eyelids, as if someone switched the bedroom lights back on. Or like you’re looking directly up at the sun but with your eyes closed. I open my eyes to find the light source, only to discover that not a single light was turned on and I am still in total darkness. This next part is going to be difficult for me to explain. I frequently notice strange movements in front of me while I’m at home. It’s as if I’m “seeing the air move,” but whatever is responsible for the movements is intangible or at least not visible to me. I’m only 26. This shouldn’t be happening to me already in my twenties. The memory problems and abnormal vision changes are what led me to consult with a neurologist last year. After an EEG and MRI I was assured that my brain and nervous function were normal. One strange thing I noted however was that during the MRI I felt an odd sensation in my head, almost like the magnets were tickling the middle of my brain - for lack of better words. It was a pleasant feeling, not painful. And the techs had previously assured me that, even with tumors present, I wouldn’t feel anything at all during the MRI. I believed them and was surprised by the weird sensation I felt. If there was an implant present, surely the neurologist would have caught it when he reviewed the MRI results, right?

 

The neurologist also asked me if I had met all of my developmental milestones as a child due to a birthmark he noticed. After doing some research, I read that brain and skin development occur at the same time in utero, so one similarity between autistic adults/children is the presence of birth marks. I have one on my arm and one rather large one (maybe 1.5”x1.5”) on my scalp that causes all the hair growing from that spot to be bleach blonde/white. I’m not sure that this is relevant, but I have read on this forum that some theorize there may be a correlation between ET/human hybrids and autism.

I also have issues with waking up set alarms at certain hours. One thing I should note is that I am neurotic about the time that I wake in the morning (due to something unrelated). I have to wake up at least four hours before I have to clock in to work. So if I clock in at 6:30, I’m awake by 2:20, back to sleep at 4:45 and alarm is set again for 5:30. Any time I set my alarm earlier than 2:20am, I miss it. It gets turned off (not snoozed, but actually turned off) and I don’t remember waking up and disabling the alarm. Every time that has happened I tell myself that I must have woken up and turned it off and just didn’t remember doing it. But here’s where it gets weird. About a month ago, I set alarms to go off every 2 hours (was trying to trap feral cats in my neighborhood to have them altered, and had to go out and check the traps every 2 hours), for six (not consecutive) nights. I set alarms for 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5am. If I went to bed at 10, the alarms were set for 12am, 2am, 4am, and 6am. ALL six nights, I missed the 1am and 2am alarms. They were turned off and I don’t remember waking up and disabling them. I also recall an early morning roughly 2 years ago, where I woke up for my 2:20am alarm and sat up in my bed to watch my videos (my early morning routine). Started watching them and then remember “waking up” again about an hour and a half later in the exact same upright position with my eyes still open. Like I had just come out of some sort of trance.

I never believed in ESP until recently. In the last year especially, I’ve noticed far too many synchronicities in my thoughts and what actually happens to attribute it to random chance. Again, this may be irrelevant information but I don’t want to leave anything out.

The older I get, the less connected I have felt to the people around me. I feel like a foreigner, like I was born in the wrong place to the wrong species and am just going through the motions now. Every single sign points to schizophrenia and I don’t want to rule that out if that is truly the problem here. I need unbiased answers. Is there something I can do to confirm or rule out my ET suspicions? I’ve considered hypnosis but I’m afraid my mind could potentially “fill in the blanks” with false memories. All I want is the unfiltered truth, so that I can either get help, or understand and cope with what is happening to me.

 

Also let it be known that I’m NOT trying to stop them or hinder their work in any way. I just don’t want to be left in the dark about it.

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Patrick Shaw
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July 15, 2019 - 5:47 am
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Hi Jen

I've joined the forum after seeing your post.

I want to assure you that this is not a mental illness although it is an attack on your mind. Everything you have described is symptomatic of the alien abduction phenomenon.

This is more widespread than most people realise, the fact that you have any memories at all is more unusual ,such are the mind control strategies and technologies they employ.

Forget the mainstream route for help as they're more likely to lock you up.

It's obvious that you have had access to some of your higher psychic faculties and this is probably what has drawn their attentions.

You have been abused many times by these beings so Healing is the priority now.

This whole alternative arena is a minefield of misinformation but I do have authentic links to information that will provide relief and healing.

Please reply if you want to know more of what I'm talking about.

Kind regards, Patrick.

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Jen Bogart
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July 19, 2019 - 10:05 am
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Patrick Shaw said
Hi Jen

I've joined the forum after seeing your post.

I want to assure you that this is not a mental illness although it is an attack on your mind. Everything you have described is symptomatic of the alien abduction phenomenon.

This is more widespread than most people realise, the fact that you have any memories at all is more unusual ,such are the mind control strategies and technologies they employ.

Forget the mainstream route for help as they're more likely to lock you up.

It's obvious that you have had access to some of your higher psychic faculties and this is probably what has drawn their attentions.

You have been abused many times by these beings so Healing is the priority now.

This whole alternative arena is a minefield of misinformation but I do have authentic links to information that will provide relief and healing.

Please reply if you want to know more of what I'm talking about.

Kind regards, Patrick.  

Patrick Shaw said
Hi Jen

I've joined the forum after seeing your post.

I want to assure you that this is not a mental illness although it is an attack on your mind. Everything you have described is symptomatic of the alien abduction phenomenon.

This is more widespread than most people realise, the fact that you have any memories at all is more unusual ,such are the mind control strategies and technologies they employ.

Forget the mainstream route for help as they're more likely to lock you up.

It's obvious that you have had access to some of your higher psychic faculties and this is probably what has drawn their attentions.

You have been abused many times by these beings so Healing is the priority now.

This whole alternative arena is a minefield of misinformation but I do have authentic links to information that will provide relief and healing.

Please reply if you want to know more of what I'm talking about.

Kind regards, Patrick.  

Patrick,

 

Thank you for your response. At least half the views on this post are from me anxiously returning to see if anyone has responded yet.

One question I have is, how can we be certain it’s abuse? How do we know their ultimate goal is not benevolent? A sacrifice for the greater good, if you will. Is there only one species of extraterrestrial origin that visits earth and interacts with humanity in this manner? I’m not arguing, just genuinely curious and I don’t want to treat them as the enemy if they’re only trying to help us. Maybe this mindset is part of the mind control you speak of. I don’t know. Your knowledge regarding the abduction phenomenon far exceeds mine, I’m sure. I am interested in seeing your links if you think they’ll help. But I’m not necessarily interested in stopping the “abuse” until I know the reason behind it and am confident it’s not for the greater good of humanity.

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CAE
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July 19, 2019 - 11:29 am
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Did you feel that you had been harmed in any way? Is your anxiety more to do with the strangeness of the situation and the stress of not being able to discuss this with anyone who has no experience of such things.  It is definitely a situation where you wonder if you have an over active imagination, but the alternative is just unacceptable. You need a space to compare notes with similar people.  

If you find this is all real, then the age old question comes "why me".  Lets hope there are answers.

Stay strong, stay sane.

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Lancelot
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July 21, 2019 - 5:40 pm
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Patrick Shaw said
Hi Jen

I've joined the forum after seeing your post.

I want to assure you that this is not a mental illness although it is an attack on your mind. Everything you have described is symptomatic of the alien abduction phenomenon.

This is more widespread than most people realise, the fact that you have any memories at all is more unusual ,such are the mind control strategies and technologies they employ.

Forget the mainstream route for help as they're more likely to lock you up.

It's obvious that you have had access to some of your higher psychic faculties and this is probably what has drawn their attentions.

You have been abused many times by these beings so Healing is the priority now.

This whole alternative arena is a minefield of misinformation but I do have authentic links to information that will provide relief and healing.

Please reply if you want to know more of what I'm talking about.

Kind regards, Patrick.  

I cannot make any doubt about this once there is a connection between the microwave mind control technique and his situation. You can do your research focused on the Targeted Individuals phenomenon. Also known as TIs. This person is not the only TI on this world. And these people are often intentionally isolated. You can watch this video too to acknowledge another case of this phenomenon.

Since it has multiple witnesses, it's hard to refute this. Especially when evidence is either presented or leaked.

 

Jen Bogart said

Patrick Shaw said
Hi Jen
I've joined the forum after seeing your post.
I want to assure you that this is not a mental illness although it is an attack on your mind. Everything you have described is symptomatic of the alien abduction phenomenon.
This is more widespread than most people realise, the fact that you have any memories at all is more unusual ,such are the mind control strategies and technologies they employ.
Forget the mainstream route for help as they're more likely to lock you up.
It's obvious that you have had access to some of your higher psychic faculties and this is probably what has drawn their attentions.
You have been abused many times by these beings so Healing is the priority now.
This whole alternative arena is a minefield of misinformation but I do have authentic links to information that will provide relief and healing.
Please reply if you want to know more of what I'm talking about.
Kind regards, Patrick.  

Patrick,

 

Thank you for your response. At least half the views on this post are from me anxiously returning to see if anyone has responded yet.

One question I have is, how can we be certain it’s abuse? How do we know their ultimate goal is not benevolent? A sacrifice for the greater good, if you will. Is there only one species of extraterrestrial origin that visits earth and interacts with humanity in this manner? I’m not arguing, just genuinely curious and I don’t want to treat them as the enemy if they’re only trying to help us. Maybe this mindset is part of the mind control you speak of. I don’t know. Your knowledge regarding the abduction phenomenon far exceeds mine, I’m sure. I am interested in seeing your links if you think they’ll help. But I’m not necessarily interested in stopping the “abuse” until I know the reason behind it and am confident it’s not for the greater good of humanity.  

At least, no conclusion can be made through a skeptical lens. If you however distance yourself from this left-brained view and look at one that sees the connections, there's far more to understand and knowledge. Which not only makes your knowledge more efficient, but also leads to more possibilities.

There are the ET species come from a variety of origins if you look into the phenomenon. From Nordic looking pleiadians to bird-like blue avians. These are generally benevolent. Most reptilians are hostile and most greys are amoral (doesn't know/no sense of morality). You can click this link for some summarized information about these. Just 20 types, yet chances are there might be more: list=PL9jwBOFbLs1w2oVpwvPFJnAsUGjx-XQ1r

You can protect yourself from (mind control) microwaves (think about cell phone radiation, microwaves for food, smart meters and cell towers) using a Faraday cage. The application of its principle is enough. Focus your research on that to recognize what might be happening. If the symptoms you described alleviate after reducing exposure to microwaves, you can confirm you're a targeted individual.

Stay strong

Arthur Schopenhauer quote (3 stages of the truth)

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