The Black Vault

I wonder what happens if you take both pills!

Well, I've never been one to not pop a pill.

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall

I'll take them both (and hope not to choke on them)

MMMhmmm, gutzy...

Is it a question of whether you want to live in reality or a fantasy land? That really is already decided by one's choices in life now. Narcotics and alcohol are used in the same fashion for heavy abusers or recreational users. We all want to escape the reality of the crippling depression of everyday life and work. It's more how much and often you do it that says whether you can handle reality. Many people can't and that's how they become abusers. Believe me I know.

I would say the blue one. But like wing I don't care for pills? Would it dissolve in a beer for me?

We can get a beer that dissolves into a pill, even.

I don't think it's strictly a question of either or, one but not both. Perception is a spectrum of experiences ranging from the reality of a nuclear blast to the airy space of ten dimensions, and beyond.

I personally view all of those experienced range to be equally "real", and, of course, a lot of reality is not appetizing so it is avoided; other times, even non-ideal reality is sought out subconsciously as per the nature of the thoughts you allow yourself to dwell on.

When people trip on LSD, their attitude, disposition, and current mindset will heavily influence whether or not it's a bad trip dude or an amazing at one with the universe trip. Actually, I think that same principle is true even when one is completely sober: your focus determines your experience of reality. And there are so many things that can influence your focus, such as, but not limited to, other people's foci. It's a confluence of energy but by and large, one's self is the final arbiter (whether consciously realized or not) of what type of "trip" or journey they will be on.

I had a bad LSD trip. I only did it once in high school, while I was at school. It made me very paranoid and I had bad hallucinations. Probably because I was apprehensive about doing it while I was at school and that affected my trip. (Though to be fair I won't try it again strictly on the basis of it being an hallucinogen. Seeing things that aren't there isn't fun to me.)

Pot was like speed to me. I was geekered out for hours that night from half a joint I shared with my wife. (Who it had the opposite effect on and she quite enjoyed the experience.)

I can see you saying that they are both realities. My mother had an uncle that drank so often he couldn't remember what happened and what he imagined. Some days he drunken imaginings were reality and other days he could remember what really was reality.

It seems the question you posed, to me, was a choice of responsibility or escape. Perhaps my mind just isn't as open as yours. But I've always been and either or guy. (Probably a lot to do with being raised with a lot of religious ultimatums.)

I will defiantly agree with you about the being sober part. The hardest part of being sober for me is my view of life without alcohol. I am already a very negative person. I tend to group with people (online or not) that are the same way. My wife is very much the opposite, the yin to my yang. She believes in a lot whereas I believe in nothing. But despite what life is throwing at me lately, I am trying to stay positive and am on my sixth day of sobriety. What's strange is I do feel somewhat positive and know that these obstacles can be overcome. I don't know if that is a coincidence to being sober or not.

Anyway, back to the subject. A fictional reality seems a shrink on one's responsibility as not just a human being but as a member of a social country/government. If everyone escaped to a fictional reality nothing would get done. It's hard enough as many people as abuse the system and spend a year collecting unemployment and playing xbox. Reality is okay to escape from as long as you come back and take care of your responsibilities.

I think we may be on two different wavelengths but you have always seemed to have a more open mind to see things/realities/dimensions that I just haven't willed myself to quite yet.

I feel you. Makes a lot of sense.

On the flip side of escaping, as odd as this will sound, a grounded and sober state is a way to escape from that which feels incredibly surreal, perhaps like the hallucinations you don't care for. Escape from the Twilight Zone which in my experience is quite real. I am fortunate and my hallucinations never were of super scary things or voices ordering me to do wrong. Just things like crystals growing out of stars at night or a configuration of lights suddenly "becoming" an eerie wolf that I could somehow communicate with. Some of this is on chemicals but a lot of it still happens to me when I'm sober. Actually, all I need to have a really awesome trip is to go without sleep for at least 24 hours but 36 and 48 are even more intense.

I haven't gone on a sleep-dep.-induced vision quest for a few months though. I always keep a writing implement when I go places in my mind, last time what I got was "I'm currently exploring free agency" and "don't throw it away."

Put those two together and, voila, I am undergoing a major life-change right now. In less than an hour, I will be on a plane for Minnesota. This time tomorrow, I will be writing from a new ip address

It was like a puzzle. I had to figure out what exploring free agency meant as it's kinda got the flavor or aroma of a horoscope advice but my subconscious mind knew I would eventually understand that it meant leaving my chronically unfaithful wife. And "don't throw it away" could have meant two things, at least, don't throw my marriage away or don't throw away this "new" opportunity I had in Minnesota. I realized that I could force it to mean what I want it to mean but the more natural interpretation for me is to not throw away the new opportunity which is shaping up to be more than just one relationship. A lot more, in fact. I'm coming off three years of near total isolation and am relatively reintegrating back into society.

It's quite a relief and I think my life with her has been like living on Jupiter, harsh conditions and intense gravity. After that, living in a place where gravity is just naturally weaker means that I'm stronger than I would have been had I lived on Earth the whole time.

I am fascinated by where I can go in my mind under the right circumstances and feel I have barely scratched the surface. You're bringing out a rambly side to me

I know At1 , you are doing the right thing..I saw THAT connection right from the start.
your turn to freeze in winter..but you will be keeping warm anyway

check out Hopkins..it is awesome
aside from the winter..I think you will love it there