The Black Vault

The details of my life are quite inconsequential. . .

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. . . pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. . . it's breathtaking. I highly suggest you try it.

hmm..
people will think you made that up
welcome, sir

Or copy-pasted it but how dare they, how dare they?

I always wondered who invented the question mark.

Your dad looks like being of a sexual persuasion that usually lends itself to fewer children conceived.

at1with0 wrote:Your dad looks like being of a sexual persuasion that usually lends itself to fewer children conceived.

He had a penchant for buggery, yes.

That opening post sounds familiar and I wanted to say Catain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, but not sure if that's it

gudskepteacal wrote:That opening post sounds familiar and I wanted to say Catain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, but not sure if that's it

hm..
Johny Depp is hawt (one track mind, me)