bionic wrote:Back when I was lucid dreaming and OoBEing a-lot, I had one of those dreams.
The ones inwhich you wake up and think you are awake and realize you're still dreaming.
It happened to me over and over again within the same dream..to the point inwhich I got panicky..thinking I couldn't wake up.
felt trapped..thought..'now I've done it, all the dream experiemnets and now I'm stuck'
Of course, at that point I did wake up.
I was so relieved, I remember.
My whole body ached from stress and I had a pounding headache from trying to force myself to wake up over and over again..
It was creepy as all get out.
It made me think of how it must feel for a person who has really lost touch with reality (and realizes it, even if only intermittently) must feel all the time.
How horrible that must feel.
Hits close to home, there.
imo, losing touch with reality can be gaining touch with another reality, and, indeed, being caught
between the two is a horrible feeling at times.
I felt utterly convinced at a few different times that in order to survive in this society I must shut my third eye, so to speak. Coming to that conclusion, that I had a choice between the two, upset me. That was years ago and I have managed
, since then, somehow.
Speaking of Carlos Castaneda being fiction, I can believe it. Once I delve deep into fiction, sometimes the characters get in my head and stay there. They speak in the voice of the character, even with the same mannerisms. Last night I had another one of these things and a presence appearing like don Juan appeared to me. I wanted to take notes and it said "you and your note taking!" Just like in the books. Yeah, it might have been Carlos' imagination. Definitely maybe. Maybe definitely.
Let's see what I wrote last night ...not much as I eventually just put the pen down and experienced
You're always writing your notes! (Yeah, well I'm glad I did or else my brain wasn't going to recall anything this morning since I blacked out!)
Paraphrasing the personal:
things have already clicked, and clicked, and clicked. Yet I continue to run the same rat race in my mind as though I haven't learned and accomplished anything. This cycle perpetuates. Understanding, confusion, understanding, confusion. Fog.
Every time, I have the choice to remain focused on the task at hand or let my mind drift away into fantasy.
It might seem silly to you, but it also felt last night that an elevation of status occurred, possibly only meaning that I have come to a higher level of accepting myself.
Let's see, what else was written last night, hmm...
A name was written. Perhaps a name I have merely given to myself.
Just some rambling next. Numerology sounds like Deuteronomy and looks like Numbers. (Could Numerology somehow be connected to both Deuteronomy and Numbers, thus showing that Deuteronomy and Numbers are numerologically connected? I think what I was being told might have been something else entirely)
Trials recycled. Yes. But as often as not, it was pointed out that it wasn't a trial anymore. As often as not.
chiselray wrote:finally the holographic yack' has gotten to you as well...although i just had strange thoughts,youve gone inconscious...Into the conscious to attempt to balance the brains energies,it does not understand why it cant understand maybe.
inconscious, I like that. Living seems more likely than understanding, though it's in my nature to try to understand what I can but I often
just shrug...wait a month. Or a day. And then attempt again. Are we there yet??? Are we there yet??
Understanding is going to take me some time.
What i think is probaby so far off the mark if it were any further from the truth ,well you know !
Black is maybe the mist of mystery,as it is in many of our questions ,everyone has questions and i think the old saying "left in the dark" may have revelance here.
Hence the 'my answer' thread. I should watch what I say and think.
Mystery, yes. A whodunnit. What is the nature of this particular tale, this mystery?
The black thing reminds me of a black hole of super energy,a force where as things go into it (like thoughts and questions) yet nothing comes out so it is with a black hole ..
I have a word for that, I call it a thoughthole. Wrote a poem about it called implosion swirling. Punky. Cocky. At times insightful and at others gross.
I am far more concerned about thoughtholes than black ones. Thoughtholes can completely rend a mind.
you know what it's like for a mind to be completely rended. Ever read Zen and the ARt of Motorcycle maintanance? The dude was consumed by a thoughthole that ate his questions and chipped his brain.
well almost nothing comes from a black hole ,that is unless you eat so much info you blurt out 2 gigantic funnels..
Aww kf ,tell me you havnt
that would cool...
This is ceral business!!!
What exactly is (or was) gigantic funnel blurted number 1 and gigantic funnel blurted number 2. Your words here have a private, special meaning for me.
oh yeah the table in your way in the dream is really you..
Hey now wait just a darn minute
Does that mean the door is me too?
One way to approach dreams is that you're seeing an image your subsconscious creates for you and all the stage props and characters are all put there by your subconscious for you to see yourself.
I forgot to add that I saw myself with red skin and glowing red eyes through a tunnel, so I could only see one eye and he could only see my eye. Then our two eyes came together and poof, the universe imploded on me again, metaphorically speaking of course.
What kicked last night off is I was seeing quite vividly like winamp music visualzation (fractals and other shapes) when I closed my eyes, listening to music. When I was zooming so fast man it blew my mind. Now I've come back to a rest again. Suddenly became overwhelmingly tired and passed out. When I woke up, I knew something significant had happened but I couldn't recall any of it. I tend to live in the now. And it was lonely in the now.