The Black Vault Message Forums

Discover the Truth!        

General Discussion Topics

So you want to get out of work, eh

The Black Vault Message Forums has a considerable number of niche forums to place your post. If you can not find a home for it, and the topic doesn't fit anywhere else, then post it here.

Postby frrostedman » Sat Jan 07, 2012 8:18 pm

For those of us who don't like to lie about being sick, but occasionally feel like playing hookey..... I've come up with a sure-fire way to get out of going to work the next day... or... I guess you could do it while at work and go home early.

I've tested it twice now and the results are consistent.


Eat a minimum of 3 refried bean burritos with diced fresh onion on them and add liberal amounts of Ghost Chili (or ghost chili hot sauce).

After you are finished eating, wait about 30 minutes for the ingredients to simmer and soften in your intestines. Then chase it with an entire pot of dark, strong coffee.


And stand by the fireworks. A video clip from your phone should suffice in proving your sickness, for those especially demanding bosses.




warning: once you feel the waves of perculation in your stomach, be on stand by... these are just the birth pangs of what is to come. Once the contractions are about 1 minute apart you will want to remain within a 5 second crawl from the bathroom for the rest of the night.
"But let us not come up with any patronizing nonsense about Jesus being a great teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to." C.S. Lewis
User avatar
frrostedman
 
Posts: 3643
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2009 7:01 pm

Postby bionic » Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:33 am

heh, heh
I am such a slacker..I haven't worked in MANY years..but it is time to go back for me..so going back to beauty school..very soon...have to reget license. Without regular work..one can atrophy..I realize this, personally..FYI
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)
User avatar
bionic
 
Posts: 9856
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:54 am

Postby frrostedman » Wed Jan 11, 2012 12:59 am

"But let us not come up with any patronizing nonsense about Jesus being a great teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to." C.S. Lewis
User avatar
frrostedman
 
Posts: 3643
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2009 7:01 pm

Postby bionic » Wed Jan 11, 2012 1:24 am

heh, heh..I graduated..myold license is for New York, though..fifteen years ago..I need, like, six hundred hours for a CA license..since I haven't worked in years.
Plus.. I need to the practice..to bring back the confidence..then..GO ME!! :mrgreen:
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)
User avatar
bionic
 
Posts: 9856
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:54 am

Postby jaydeehess » Wed Jan 11, 2012 3:29 pm

frrostedman wrote:For those of us who don't like to lie about being sick, but occasionally feel like playing hookey..... I've come up with a sure-fire way to get out of going to work the next day... or... I guess you could do it while at work and go home early.

I've tested it twice now and the results are consistent.
.



When I first read your post I stopped and thought "I must have read that wrong". Indeed on a re-read I see that I had replaced the second "o" in "hookey" with a "c".
It did not seem to be a recommended plan to go out and play hockey after that lunch. :D
Math, science, history unraveling the mystery, that all started with a Big Bang.....BANG!!
jaydeehess
 
Posts: 466
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 12:02 pm

Postby bionic » Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:08 am

hargh, hargh
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)
User avatar
bionic
 
Posts: 9856
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:54 am


Return to General Discussion Topics

cron
  • View new posts
  • View unanswered posts
  • Who is online
  • In total there are 2 users online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 2 guests (based on users active over the past 10 minutes)
  • Most users ever online was 292 on Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:19 pm
  • Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests