A penguin is traveling in his car from one place to another. Before he gets to his destination, the AC in his car goes out. So he quickly stops at the next town and finds the local garage. The penguin tells the mechanic he needs to get his AC fixed right away. He's a penguin and he needs to stay cold. The mechanic says he can have it done in an hour.
The penguin leaves the garage cause it didn't have AC. He finds a ice cream shop a few doors down from the garage and goes in. He orders him a nice gallon of vanilla ice cream and starts to wolf it down in a hurry to keep cold. In his haste he slops a lot of it on him. Suddenly he realizes the hour is up and rushes back to the garage. He sees the mechanic hunched over the hood of his car.
"What's the problem?" the penguin asks. The mechanic looks up for the car at the penguin.
"Looks to me like you blew a seal."
"No that's just vanilla ice cream."
"That's the problem with drinking ... If something bad happens you drink in attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen." -- Charles Bukowski