I'm currently dating a married man who is also my boss. He's 38 (12 years older than me) and is seriously unhappy with his wife who he's been married to for 15 years. What the heck should I do? Cuz I have no freaking clue!!!
In any world you are really making a big mistake, Actually already made a big mistake. You are in a no win situation and the damage is irreversable. 12 years older than you with marriage problems that happen to be 15 years old. What do you think he is thinking, backing his life up 12-15 years to when he met the wife, finding you at your age? He is trying to turn back the clock! They would have been your age, and so, was he when he started that marriage. You are being used on so many fronts its pathetic, and this boss of yours is a moron for doing it. You are in a total no win situation, if they get back togather, you are toast, and your job along with it. If they get a divorse, you may end up the object of a lot of real scorn in that proceeding. If they have kids you will be on the subject list deciding custody. In that case your job is toast, if the wife makes an issue with child custody, and he has to cut all ties with you.
As for your job, I don't know what kind of job it is, or if you are engaged in a carreer situation rather than a meaningless job. If you work at Mcdonalds vs. some long range carreer opportunity to build on, those do not come along often. Either way your job is on the line, and you are being exploited by a superior in the work place. If you are in any kind of job with a lot of other people, you are undoubtly part of the rumor mill, and coffee machine gossup. Don;t know if you boss is just another employee, or if he owns the business you work in, either way, he has entered into the modern world of sexual harrassment lawsuits. Which is why you need to be very smart. When the time comes when he needs to be done with you, you will be layed off in a manner that will catch you off guard, and you will be on the outside looking in, as far as your job.
Not trying to paint such a bleek picture, but the only one who is going to suffer in this is you. If you piece it all togather, his advances to you were inappropreate from any supervisor, and he took it much further involving you, at the risk of your job, during his marriage problems. If he tricked you into thinking he was not married, pursued you on the job, etc. etc., and this ruined your carreer opportunities, I think you may have a sexual harrassment lawsuit. If you got this job after college and you were building a carreer, you were derailed.
If you both have found true love thats possible, but you are in the middle of a marriage situation that will get real ugly. Step back and take a good look at the big picture what this means to you and your job. Your boss is so far out on a legal limb its pathetic, not only with you as his boss, but what your relationship will mean to his divorse or child custody. If the place you work is his business, how do you think that will go when he and his wife has to split assets?