The Black Vault

SESAME STREET — Kermit the Frog was found dead in an alley behind Sesame Street early Saturday morning. Rescue workers who were called to the scene tried to revive him, but were unsuccessful.

Reports that he had fallen from Miss Piggy’s luxury penthouse apartment overlooking Sesame Street were unsubstantiated at press time.

“A death like this is always treated as suspicious,” said Chief Fozzy Bear of the Muppet Police Squad. “We will be interviewing any and all witnesses before making a further statement.” No charges have been laid.

Kermit the Frog achieved superstar status in the 1970’s and 1980’s through his roles in the various Muppet Movies, as well as the television series, The Muppet Show. He is also know for various appearances on the television series Sesame Street up until 2001.

Kermit the Frog’s on-again-off-again relationship with Miss Piggy has been the subject of discussion by various tabloids throughout the years. His death Saturday morning has been described as “a shock, and an utter bewilderment” by the Sesame Street Daily Rag.

Updates on the death of Kermit the Frog and the investigation to follow will be printed as we come up with them.

Swine flu implicated in Kermit the Frog death.

SESAME STREET — Forensics reports have confirmed that Swine Flu may have contributed to the death of Kermit the Frog Saturday morning.

Media outlets have been abuzz since Kermit the Frog was found dead in a Sesame Street alley outside Miss Piggy’s luxury penthouse apartment. A report released to the media Saturday by the Sesame Street Coroner’s Office confirmed what many had already suspected: “Swine Flu was a contributing factor in the death of Kermit the Frog.”

The report continues that the viral strain found within the tissue of the deceased frog is not the H1N1 variety that has caused concern in the recent weeks, but is a related, sexually transmitted from of the virus.

Sesame Street mayor, Oscar the Grouch, cautions that there is no need for alarm. “This isn’t the kind of sickness you get from getting sneezed on,” he said in a telephone interview.

Police have confirmed that Miss Piggy is now a “pig of interest” in the ongoing investigation. “We would like to speak with Miss Piggy about her wherabouts Friday night and Saturday morning,” said Chief Fozzy Bear of the Sesame Street Police Force at a press conference Saturday afternoon. “It’s not entirely clear yet whether Kermit the Frog was already dead from the flu prior to impact, or if it was the impact that killed him. What we do know is his body has trauma consistent with having fallen from a significant height.”

Chief Fozzy Bear reiterated the assurance that the variety of Swine Flu with which Kermit had been infected is not contagious.

Calls to Miss Piggy’s press agent were not immediately returned.

CLASSIC


Keep us informed on future developements in the case.

Preliminary reports and leads, pointed tward a charcter known only as "Bluesman", who had a MO of taking the site administrator, to a well known dive that serves, of all things, FROGLEGS on its buffet menu. However, crime scene photos showing Kermits legs were in tact, ruled out this deparado last know to be near the Ozarks, in Missouri. It is believed this bluesman caractor is still considered a danger to other frogs, which he has been known to murder, and devour their legs from their little frog hips down. Little piles of bones are the only thing left, and no prints are ever found as he licks his fingers when done. Rest in Peace Kermit, and be glad you died with your boots, I mean your legs on.

& now ...... another ground breaking news story.

Move over guy Smiley,

Take that.




But It is a real shame, ....... I liked Kermit.

He was good bloke.

I cant believe it,i just CANT believe he is dead
maybe some jealous thug wanted him out of THE WAY
Im getting A FEELING...
From the position of the body i would say he WAS PUSHED ..SOME BASTARD KILLED HIM

Scintillatiing. Really, really scintillating.

Some damn Jap frog probably did it.

_Billy_ wrote:Some damn Jap frog probably did it.

Well, it was made properly and didn't rot instantly so at the least you can reasonably assume it was made in Japan.

Stupid frogs! I never understood what kermit saw in that pig. There was a much better looking tart with long blond hair in the show. I bet she is a goer.