NativeAlien wrote:Strange Recipes from The What Not to Cook Cookbook 
....Today i'm gonna prepare for ya an old family recipe favorite...Lima Bean Hand Grenade Yogurt Surprise casserole...i would like to introduce my prepping assistant Louis...Louis knows nothing about food but he follows orders well, isn't very bright and doesn't mind losing a limb or two in the process
...well Chef i just got back from the market and as you can plainly see the ingredients are all fresh especially the Hand Grenades which i hand picked myself off the back of a Army Special Forces supply truck
...oh yes the lima beans and yogurt are just the right color, texture and consistency and those Grenades oo la la...hard , oiley and ripe with shrapnel
....should i begin slicin the lima beans Chef?
...you don't slice lima beans silly...you're confusin lima beans with my dealers cocaine...first we blanch the lima beans in sulfuric acid and while thats happenin...i'll add a tablespoon each of nutmeg, gun powder and WD 40 to the vanilla yogurt until its fully incorporated and blended into a creamy odd volatile mixture
...should i grease the pan with lard Chef?
...for cryin out loud, hell no, this ain't a Roman orgy Louis ordinary human saliva will do just fine...God Louis you really don't know anything about the art of home cooking, you're so adorable...while Louis is lubing the pan with spit...i'm going to remove the hard metal Pins from the hand grenades and replace them with soft sprigs of rosemary...rosemary is the secret ingredient that "pulls" the whole dish together so to speak...gives it that extra dash of flavor...that keeps your dinner guest guessin and comin back for more imho...
...i'm done greasin the pan Chef
...fantastique, in that case, i'll let Louis remove the Grenade pins as i set the oven at exactly 425 degrees and leave the room to stand safely next to Hal the shows Producer
BOOOOOOMMM
...WTF just happened?
...the Boom tells ya when the casserole is done...the explosion is what gives the casserole it's nice crispy crust and glow
...there's friggen bits of burnt Louis everywhere
...yes thats the surprise element of this dish but look at the end product...look at this casserole baby...how sexy and delicious lookin is that?
...damn that does look pretty tasty..ya gotta extra fork
...got one here in my top pocket...i don't think Louis will mind...well thats it for this weeks show...next week i'll be sharing a new old family recipe with the help of my new assistant Clarence the homeless guy...so until then...remember just because an ingredient isn't edible or just because its lethally dangerous...doesn't mean ya have to avoid them...just make sure you have someone helpin ya who doesn't value his or hers life as much as you value yours...Ciao Everyone and Bon Appetit
by rath » Sat Jun 06, 2009 3:45 am 
