The Paranormal Adventures of Geek...Uber Geek and Pothead 
...i was abducted again last night...but they kept my left shoe...those shoes were expensive...imported Italian leather...what would they want with a single shoe?
...the Haitian imported faux Italian leather pair from Wal Marts? thats sick.
...i'll betcha they're creatin one legged warrior Hybrids dude...probably big hairy, hoppin, hybrids with fangs...they're mixin our DNA with kangaroo DNA dude...open your eyes dude they're gonna attack
...Bro ya gotta take it easy with the weed...you're hurtin my head like quantum entanglement .
...and thats not the first time they took something of mine either...last April they took my Sponge Bob bobble head doll and the month before...my Gerbil Lex Luthor
...what did i tell ya Man...they're buildin an army of vicious spongy, one legged, hairy hoppin, warrior Gerbil hybrid mutants...
...Oh yeah i'm sure Delta Force will be shakin in their boots...The Shadow gov't has the latest in plasma beam shot gun technology Bro...they'll mow those suckers down like Yankee Stadium crabgrass on opening day.
...well i'm very perturbed i'm going to insist they return my stuff post-haste
...and if they don't...what then pray tell?
...i'll write a nasty letter proclaiming my utter disapproval and disdain to the Galactic Federation for openers
...that sounds like a reasonable course of action...i take it you have their correct address?
...well no...but it shouldn't be hard to find on You Tube.
...i found a kick ass recipe for Tex Mex habanero stuffed jelly beans on You Tube...i tripped for three days straight...i sang a duet with David Hasselhoff and met a strange man with a gyroscope made out of Limburger cheese....he walked with a limp and spoke Romanian...quite peculiar
...are you through? Because if you're not I'm going to duct tape your mouth shut now.
...relax dude...take the alien probes outta your ass...its playin havoc your aurora borealis dude
... seriously i'm perplexed, what am i going to do with my right shoe? i can't donate it to charity.
...have it bronzed...hang it from the rear view mirror of your Ford Pinto, along side your autographed Hannah Montana thong panties.
...better yet stuff it with pinata candy and sell it on ebay
...i know i shouldn't ask...but why pinata candy
..the economys hurtin dude...nobody's gonna shell out hard earned cash for a single shoe unless there's something in it for them...so to speak...that's how capitalism works dude...and who doesn't like pinata candy
...pass me the joint Bro...you're actually beginning to make sense... in a creepy paranormal kind of way.
....i hate pretending i'm happy when my world is falling down around me...
...i hate pretending i'm confused when i know damn well i didn't stick that electric drill in my own ear
...oh shut the fcuk up ya cry baby...you don't even have ears.
...i was at the Mall shopping and i lost my penis
...WTF!...whadya mean you lost your penis? how?
...didya check the Restroom
...oh please you would bleed to death if that happened...you probably lost it in a card game, knowing you
...and my shrink wants to know why i'm depressed...you people are fuckin crazy
...look on the positive side, you'll never have to buy another pair of ear muffs
...don't you have nothing better to do then waste thread space?...like looking for a missing penis?
...i don't wanna live anymore, this world is a dark dank dreary dismal place.
...whats wrong sunshine...Mr.Negativity poop in your zen Bliss shake