Inside the Mind of Dr.Uber Geek
...first of all let me begin this weeks session by telling you this will be our last.
Congratulations i have cured you...you're normal again my friend...go, live and enjoy your life
....but what about the voices?
....what voices? you never mentioned anything about hearing voices
....this is something new ...it began right after last weeks session..
...why didn't you call me?
...the Coffee Maker told me not to...it told me i wasn't crazy that i had a beautiful mind and that it loves me
...the coffee maker?
...and its not just the Coffee maker...they all talk to me, the Refrigerator, the Microwave, the Deep Fryer, the Forman Grill, the Blender...all shouting orders at me....except for the Coffee Maker of course, it understands me and cares for me...but the others are mean and tell me to do bad things.
..what kind of bad things?
...i was reheating a slice of pizza in the Microwave when it began glowing and pulsing like a strobe light, it was mesmerizing...then it ordered me to go next door and rape my neighbors wife...i didn't ofcourse, my next door neighbor doesn't have a wife, he's a Eunuch...just a pitbull and a draw the line at inter species sexual violence as you well know
... yes i'm glad we resolved that issue... it was quite disturbing i still vomit when i think of it ..so lets not go there...what else do the kitchen appliances say to you?
...the Refrigerator wants me to rob the corner deli...it doesn't want money just corned beef sandwiches with russian dressing, swiss cheese and coleslaw...oh yeah an Kosher pickles and potato chips...
...nothing else? whats it got against hot pastrami?
...It told me only pompous, clueless, diasgreeable jackasses eat hot pastrami
...well i disagree with its amateur observations, it's quite delicious..so i would totally ignore that voice in the future...what about the others?
...the Deep Fryer wants me to drown the Forman Grill and the Blender by throwing them both in the washing machine for a 1000 cycles...the Forman Grill wants me to assassinate the Prime Minister of Canada and the Blender wants me to kidnap the mailman and torture him to death in the basement
... and naturally you didn't fulfill any of their outrageous horrific requests?
...lets put it this way i didn't fulfill the Deep Fryer's outrageous horrific request
...well thats good enough for me...like i said go live and enjoy life and don't listen to those stupid voices they're only a figment of your warped imagination.
ps. thank you all...i'm glad to see there's freaks out there like me...Lash..it depends how high i am...but usually it takes me about 45 minutes ...weed is a double edged sword...i like the way i think when i'm high but unfortunately i don't function well coordination wise...typing while high for me is extremely challenging.