The Black Vault

[WarAngel]

Is That An Airbag.jpg (19.04 KiB) Viewed 182 times

Eat Your Beans.jpg (69.97 KiB) Viewed 182 times

Santa's Sleigh 02.jpg (33.01 KiB) Viewed 182 times

An elderly patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again. He says "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased." The patient responds with "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!"

BREAKING NEWS: The Supreme Court rules NO nativity scene in U.S. Capitol this Christmas season!! This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find 3 Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol (a search for a Virgin continues). There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
1. Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia: I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and...Trees and...
6. Paranoid: Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder: Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

[bionic]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKbN_dAi ... re=related

[bionic]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7Q_bq07 ... re=related
(i love this corny movie, fyi)

[WarAngel]

Q: What do a pregnant woman, a burnt roast, and a frozen beer have in common?
A: If you had taken it out in time, it wouldn't have happened.

Husband says to wife "My Olympic condoms have arrived, I'll think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies "Why don't you wear silver and come in second this time."

A wife asks her husband "Shall I slip into something that will make you smile? The husband replies "Yes. Try a coma."

Two kids knocked on a man's door. When he answered the kids asked if he'd kindly donate to the new local swimming pool that was being built. The man handed them a bottle of water.

Q: What did one saggy breast say to the other?
A: If we don't get some support soon people are going to think we're nuts.

[frrostedman]

This is one I made up as a kid... wasn't good enough to become popular.

You know... if you rounded up a prostitute, some Irish spring, and a taboggan, you could have just what we sing about in the Christmas carol...

1 whore, soap, and sleigh!

[bionic]

"A one horse open sleigh!!"

[DIss0n80r]

[Guest]

[ricardo]

[frrostedman]