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PTSD rears its ugly head again

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Postby frrostedman » Wed May 21, 2014 7:09 pm

I've vocalized it here before. I've been diagnosed with PTSD. It's not due to any war experience - in fact I've never been in the military. It has to do with childhood and we'll leave it at that. The whole reason I was diagnosed is because I experienced an intense PTSD "flashback" incident about 10 years ago, while listening to a new song on a CD I had just bought. Just weird... the song started off, and 20 seconds into the keyboard piece, my eyes welled-up with tears and I felt intense fear. I felt completely separated from my surroundings and I was in a dark, scary, unfamiliar place. I could see lit candles, flashes of people walking around with hooded robes, and I could smell blood.

Anyway I went to therapy for a short time and we finally concluded that whatever I was having a flashback of, it was probably best just to leave it compartmentalized. My therapist's thought on it was, hey, who says we HAVE to dig all that crap up and face it when all that I'm experiencing now is a very rare flashback. ( and a few other nominal symptoms )

Where am I going with this...

Well, the whole thing has lied dormant for 10 years. Until just a few days ago. The President of the company I work for sprayed some scented air freshener in the mechanical room/broom closet adjacent to my office. Once I caught the slightest whiff of it, I was instantly transported to the home of a step-grandmother of mine. It was the exact smell of either her perfume, or, the smell of some decoration in one of the rooms of her house. She was an evil lady and I remember she had a cackle for a laugh. Anyway, I was once again brought to tears, and frozen in fear. It was all I could do, to muster up the strength and make a bee-line to the back door of the building and get out of there.

Not all that interesting subject for the rest of you I'm sure. But I am just awe-struck at how the mind works. I haven't smelled that smell for 38 years, and *BOOM* I was instantly teleported back in time the moment I smelled it again.

Scary stuff but more than that I find it fascinating.

Has anyone else had a moment like that where something like a smell or a sound took you to another place way back in your life?
Every one who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the Universe-a spirit vastly superior to that of man. - Albert Einstein
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Postby bionic » Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:39 am

I completely understand about PTSD. My heart goes out to you and anyone that deals with it, for any reason.
Willie Wonka quotes..
What is this Wonka, some kind of funhouse?
Why? Are you having fun?
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams
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