For those of us who don't like to lie about being sick, but occasionally feel like playing hookey..... I've come up with a sure-fire way to get out of going to work the next day... or... I guess you could do it while at work and go home early.
I've tested it twice now and the results are consistent.
Eat a minimum of 3 refried bean burritos with diced fresh onion on them and add liberal amounts of Ghost Chili (or ghost chili hot sauce).
After you are finished eating, wait about 30 minutes for the ingredients to simmer and soften in your intestines. Then chase it with an entire pot of dark, strong coffee.
And stand by the fireworks. A video clip from your phone should suffice in proving your sickness, for those especially demanding bosses.
warning: once you feel the waves of perculation in your stomach, be on stand by... these are just the birth pangs of what is to come. Once the contractions are about 1 minute apart you will want to remain within a 5 second crawl from the bathroom for the rest of the night.
"But let us not come up with any patronizing nonsense about Jesus being a great teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to." C.S. Lewis