Are good manners lost?

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Are good manners lost?

Postby greeney2 » Tue May 10, 2011 11:20 am

All we have to do is look at ourselves and our flaming wars, YES ME INCLUDED :lol: , and wonder have good manners just become another value we deem unimportant? Message boards, emails, and texting, has been one of the worst things for maintaining good manners. I found in company emails, things were said in pointed ways, one may never say them face to face.

This artical was for kids by 9 years old, but I'm an old fashioned guy, and one manner I was taught, was kids address adults as Mr. or Mrs., and now kids just take the liberty, that it is OK to just address them by their first name. Shame on the parents who do not introduce their child to Mr. or Mrs., that they introduce them by first name. Depends on the relationship I understand, but I still believe their is a thing called respect for age that should be honored. Children need to be told by the adult, "you may call me by my first name". Also children should understand that when someone offers a handshake, you respectfully shake hands with eye to eye contact, not lackadazically not paying attention. Some kids don't really know how to shake hands with someone.

25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9 user
by Parents.com, on Tue May 3, 2011 1:21pm PDT 109 Comments Post a Comment Read More from This Author » Report Abuse ShareretweetEmailPrint Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.
By David Lowry, Ph.D.

Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-

Manner #1

When asking for something, say "Please."

Manner #2

When receiving something, say "Thank you."

Related: Kid-Made Thank You Notes

Manner #3
Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Manner #4

If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

Manner #5

When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

Manner #6
The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

Manner #7
Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

Related: Raise Polite Kids

Manner #8
When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Manner #9

When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Manner #10
Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

Manner #11
When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

Manner #12
Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

Related: Print and Color Cards for Birthdays, Thank-Yous and More!

Manner #13
Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Manner #14

Don't call people mean names.

Manner #15
Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

Related: Raise a Compassionate Kid

Manner #16
Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

Manner #17
If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."

Related: Quiz: What's Your Parenting Style?

Manner #18
Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.

Related: How to Handle Inappropriate Behavior

Manner #19

As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Manner #20
If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.

Manner #21
When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

Related: Use this Table-Setting Map as a Guide

Manner #22
When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

Manner #23
Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

Related: Mrs. McVeigh Weighs in on Proper Utensil Use and More!

Manner #24

Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Manner #25

Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

See more on teaching manners to your toddlers and preschoolers.

Originally published in the March 2011 issue of Parents magazine.
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby greeney2 » Tue May 10, 2011 11:32 am

Something else along the line of manners that really urks me is when someone just becomes any Aunt or Uncle to your kids, when they are not related? I understand we have extended families, but I even have friends I've know for over 50 years, but they are not the Uncle or Aunt, of my children. These titles are reserved for blood relatives only, and are not just a title you give out to anyone becasue they are a good friend. Aunts and Uncles are special, they can only be the brother and sister of your Mother or Father. Cousins can only be their children. I supose when people have no family ties whatsoever, or they have no other bloodline relatives living, its OK to make someone special a special aunt or uncle. That different than just making this friend this year Uncle Joe or Aunt Betsy, when they arn't, and you kids have several real aunts and uncles. Aunts and Uncles are relatives for life, and parts of family trees for generations that turn into decade and centuries. The title should never be taken lightly nor cheapened by assigning this years favorite Uncle or Aunt. Kids do not need to know your best friend as their Aunt or Uncle, what does that deminish to real ones to being?
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby bionic » Tue May 10, 2011 3:40 pm

This will be hard to believe, but in person I am basically a well mannered gal.
A tad crass at times, but well mannered and well meaning for the most part.

I am a bit of a stickler about manners.
I even have the manners to not tell someone when I feel they have no manners or when they are rude.

I say, please, thank you, you first, I hold doors, offer seats to old folks in public places, etc..
I am British, after all.
My dad was a bit if a Victorian Brit. Very intelligent and very well mannered (also a raging alcoholic, but that's another story)

My mom was always one to push manners and I push them on my kid.

Frankly, it disgusts me how rude society has gotten.

I wrote about it recently around here somewhere, but will reiterate it..
I truly believe manners, having them, is an impoirtant part of a civilized, working society.

You see, peoplel naturally want to push boundaries.
So if manners are expected..less manners are the way itplays out..and if no manners are even expected..where does that lead?
utter selfishness, that's where

as we are seeing play out all around us in todays society
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby at1with0 » Tue May 10, 2011 4:18 pm

Anonymity has a lot to do with it. When I'm on discussion forums that display my real name, I tend to act like I would in person. I let my hair down once the identity is anonymous.
"Be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove."
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby bionic » Tue May 10, 2011 4:25 pm

I think we all do that to an extent..just like the way we all adjust who we are depending on who we are around

interacting,interelating in various, different ways..we all co-create ourselves and each other, as we go
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby bionic » Tue May 10, 2011 4:28 pm

Greeney,
fyi..
thanks..sometimes we all need to be reminded about decency and boundaries and such..especially when being allowed to hang out at somone elses space..because of their generous nature
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby at1with0 » Tue May 10, 2011 4:44 pm

Brown noser..

Oh wait, bad me BAD ME where are my manners?
"Be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove."
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby bionic » Tue May 10, 2011 4:46 pm

:P
just trying to be a good guest
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby at1with0 » Tue May 10, 2011 4:53 pm

:P I know exactly what's going on. 8-)
"Be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove."
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Re: Are good manners lost?

Postby DIss0n80r » Tue May 10, 2011 5:59 pm

Manners on the internet? It was made for porn, anything else is irrelevant.
"I can conceive of nothing in religion, science, or philosophy, that is anything more than the proper thing to wear, for a while." ~ Charles Fort
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