The Black Vault

and April second was International Autism Awareness day
http://action.autismspeaks.org/?source= ... Kgodgnyztg

You can bet my family was dress in blue that day and we had our blue light out on the porch.

Autism rates in the last 20 years have risen to pandemic proportions. And still, no one really knows why.
At this point most people, if they are not related to someone with Autism, they know someone that is.
That's how common it has become.

The most poignant stories about Autism that have struck me in my life are of Temple Grandin
http://www.templegrandin.com/

and of Nikki Bacharach (the daughter of Angie Dickenson and Burt Bahcarach)who commited suicide...because of her Autism..and her fears for her future as an aging Autistic..
http://www.ageofautism.com/2010/10/angi ... ghter.html

If you have someone in your family that has an Autistic child..please..if you have never done so, because it felt "too weird"..please just once..give them a call just to let them know you feel for them..you understand their pain..and have learned a bit about Autism..because of this.

Noone..to this day..except my mom, because she has had to, yet uncomfortably and often someowhat begrudgingly, from hearing me weep on the phone over the years)Besides her No One in either my family or my husband's family has ever done that. No one ever called or sent a note just to say "I feel for you"

Never..

early on, maybe it was to be expected..ignorance(I was even subletly accused of Munchousen by Proxy by a sister in law..who didn't even live near us..or saw my kid regularly, when I first raised my concerns)..but at this point there have been parents of children dx'd with it over the years..on tv..telling of the heartbreak of it...especially early on, at first discovery...yet..still..not once have they given us a nod (as they regulalry beyatch about their kid's grades or some trivial crap like that..or show off about their latest sporting score or whatever..insensative much?)

to say this stings a bit..is an understatement
but..whatever

we put up with it..without a word to them..because God forbid be the "whiny types" (like most in the special needs community do with their families..eye rolls here)

I tell this not to pity party myself, but to inform..because you see..it's common..people in the autistic and special needs community sardonically joke about it..how most families(and friends, even..we lose friends over it..too uncomfortable for them) just act like it's the big uncomfortable elephant in the room they don't want to adress..yet they'll go out of their way for a stranger..but not once..for their own family member just say.."I feel for you"..just that simple acknowledgement

so if you are one of those family members of which I speak..please..do..just drop them a note..a.phone call..just to say.."I get it now"

I completely understand and you are not alone. I have an AQ of 34. hyper-accelerated learning, obsessive behaviors, poor recognition of social norms (to the point of not wanting to have new social experiences) and a unpleasing aversion to strong 'chemically' and floral smells. It was a huge blow when i found out, as i fall into the category of adult diagnosed. I honestly wish i had just remained eccentric.

I understand and i feel for you.

Chris,
Thanks much.
Bless you.
I feel for you , hon.
It's not an easy road, I'm sure.(by a long shot)
But at least now you know.
There are support groups.
Wasn't there some part of you that felt something akin to, "This explains it"?
I have heard for the very "high funtioning" (and usually brilliant)that an eventual dx sometimes gives piece of mind. (answers a-lot of lifelong questions)
Maybe that is just a popular myth.

support groups???!!!...that makes me laugh in a good way. think about it there is an entire awkward social gathering to go to for people who specifically don't like awkward social events. people are silly....throw in some strong stimulation lights, smells, and loud music and we could have our selfs a good old time. hahahaha

sorry i don't know if that was rude, if so i apologize.

you know i was kinda depressed about it at first, and I'm not sure if my symptoms have gotten worse since I was diagnosed or if I'm just way more aware of them now. I am trying to not rely on the old mechanism that i had for dealing with the world. screw it. I'll just be me and if that doesn't work I'll apologize profusely and often. I like people, just not gatherings. so I don't know if I feel relived or what. I've never really felt anything but anxious. It's weird and hard for anyone to understand who doesn't have it, but i promise you if it's nothing else it's predictable, autistics no matter where on the spectrum they are crave structure in everything.

how stupid of me with the support groups thing.
FYI, I don't even go to them.
I have tried a couple times. Force myself (I am shy in weird, unconventional ways)
I keep telling myself I need to amke more connections in the Autism World for my kids sake.
I worked so hard to get hima "friend" back in California.
Now I am trying to figure out a way to get one here, since we moved here (MN)
I hoemschool him now..so our only chance at gettign oen is to join some kind of social group.
I promised myself when spring is truly here we will reach out to some local "social training" Autism group.
Just to find a kid he sort of connects with, with a mom I sorta connect with and the fakish play dates can begin.

Maybe online?
I have heard a-lot on the Spectrum thrive online..with online groups.

My friend sent me a cool blog for parents of kids on the Spectrum
http://daksopendoor-journal.blogspot.com/

of course, that wouldn't work for you

I have seen online Asperger and Autism message boards and groups,though

As I have gotten older, I am way more introverted than I was as a younger woman(actually I always was sort of one. But if I had one friend with me, I'd be the opposite often. Bbut on my own..introvert)
Society makes introverts feel stupid. God forbid you be a person that isn;t into the pecking order social bs games most live by.
But there are books out there that talk about the cool things about being introverted.
"The Happy Introvert" comes to mind.

Yah gotta "own it"

Be like, "Teah! So What??!!"