where ever you are is where you're at
first of all, I feel compelled to say something to you that was said to me once, long ago, by my now dead, mom-in-law..on a day I was postering..probably about the meaning fo life..or something like it...per usual
she said something like..
"have you considered you think too much? that maybe you read too many books? That you need to settle down and just live your life a bit?"
her inference being that I used these deeper questions to sort of, run from life, to distract me from actually living my life
(so caught up in theory..ignpring the importance of lab)
I am a stargate fan and know the episode you speak of and can honestly picture you to be a-lot like that scientist guy on the show..surrounded by half worked out equations..I have a brother like that..he liked to do calculus for fun when we were kids. You and he would get along well,I think.
About that yearning for completeness.(whatever that is) I think it's part of our basic programming..it's what keeps the energy in motion..the constant reaching..it's a basic part of being human. It's what pushes our evolution along.
there's name for it..it's actually instinctual..it's what makes a person Google all day.
I can't remember what it's called, though. (there was an article about it online a few years back..about how some online marketers were taking advantage of it...people's need to...search..and search...and search..creating their own mental labarynths)
I think, in your case, though, it's stuck on high gear...and maybe getting in the way of your life
which gets me to the beginning of this post and the words my mom-in-law had for me
“Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.”
― William S. Burroughs
(love&forgive yourself..and everyone else)