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Postby The_Joker » Fri Aug 20, 2010 1:02 am

GOD does answer prayers


A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I
wish that I , and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.



God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...
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Postby BloodStone » Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:13 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

good 1 Joker...







BloodStone...
If it were raining hookers, I'd get hit by a fag.
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Postby at1with0 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 1:50 pm

Image
"it is easy to grow crazy"
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Postby bionic » Sat Aug 21, 2010 4:09 am

:lol:

Actually, a bridge to Hawaii would create a-lot of much needed jobs.

We should seriously focus on rebuidling our infrastructures. it'd benifit the coutnry, as a whoel. And wow..the jobs it would create.

FYii...
The only thing a guy should learn when it comes to women is this..
to be able to say something like this and look sincere..
"You're right..I'm wrong..dumb, man, me..smart, woman, you...um..you're pretty'

varying ways to say that..again and again

you'd be set for life
Willie Wonka quotes..
What is this Wonka, some kind of funhouse?
Why? Are you having fun?
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams
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Postby The_Joker » Sat Aug 21, 2010 4:31 am

Mate, mate, mate my post was a post of a joke...seriously :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...
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Posts: 671
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:22 pm

Postby bionic » Sat Aug 21, 2010 4:52 am

yeah..I went off on a tangent...but didn't you see the humor at the end?

should mention I am a female..not a "mate"..what's the Australian female version of a "mate'', anyway?
"beyatch"?
:mrgreen:
Willie Wonka quotes..
What is this Wonka, some kind of funhouse?
Why? Are you having fun?
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams
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bionic
 
Posts: 9884
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:54 am

Postby at1with0 » Sat Aug 21, 2010 10:09 am

Fosters: Australian for social lubrication.
"it is easy to grow crazy"
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Postby The_Joker » Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:22 pm

bionic wrote:yeah..I went off on a tangent...but didn't you see the humor at the end?

should mention I am a female..not a "mate"..what's the Australian female version of a "mate'', anyway?
"beyatch"?
:mrgreen:



Oops, sorry love.
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...
User avatar
The_Joker
 
Posts: 671
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:22 pm

Postby bionic » Mon Aug 23, 2010 12:46 pm

oh..
"love"
of course.
duh
ooh..I LIKE that!!!!
:mrgreen:

I feel I should add a joke, here.
I think I ampretty humorous, generally, but not good at telling jokes.

So, instead of a joke I'll contribute this (for now)...
"This is the song that never ends"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNTxr2NJHa0
Willie Wonka quotes..
What is this Wonka, some kind of funhouse?
Why? Are you having fun?
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams
User avatar
bionic
 
Posts: 9884
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:54 am

Postby The_Joker » Thu Aug 26, 2010 3:55 am

This one is a Golden Oldie:

The day God decided to only let people who have had a bad day into Heaven


It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died.

St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...
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Posts: 671
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:22 pm

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