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How do you deal with a friends husband coming on to you?

Let's face it - we all have them. Come on in to offer advice, or maybe get some advice.

Postby Dark-Samus » Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:40 am

Dark believes mankind does things wihout reaching any type of goal whatsoever :lol:
Truth doesn´t control you, you control it...
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Postby sheye » Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:55 am

I apologize mael..if I got the threads mixed up...
I'm glad you explained the higo and the hipo stuff though,I need to go back and reread some of that...

also need to learn how to express my phylosophies of life in a much better way, as well as work on spelling ;)

thankyou alll for your thoughts
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Postby orangetom1999 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:21 am

Sheye,

Interestnig thread. Pretty much textbook in places.

I'm going to take some time and make a comparison here...for which I don't actually think many males can think outside this box that nature seems to have put them in and prevents their thinking..outside very narrow corridors.

I often compare males to male guppies or male mollies in a fish tank. Ever watch them?? You should. The males here approach the females and wag their tails..to see if the female is interested. If not they go around the tank to another female and wag their tail again.
They never seem to ask themselves what is wrong with this game?? Understand now? They are just reacting to a stimulus...an instinct.
I call this "trying out" like baseball tryouts for the team. It is a kind of sports conditioning...to run for the touchdown or home run. They never ask themselves what is wrong with the game. They automatically assume it is the only game in town. Understand??

Don't get me wrong here, I am not justifying this conduct...I am only explaining by comparison....what this conduct appears to me to be in similarity. Very few peoples, male or female, seem to ask themselves what is wrong with this game...single or married.

Your point about your married friend is noted.

I will tell you ..I have had the same thing from married women. They just tend to be more subtle in it than most men are accustomed.

If you have lost a friend over this ..they were never your friend. Most likely they were just territorial ..well beyond friendship. And women are very territorial..in a manner not known by many men....once again subtlety..but territorial nonetheless.

The average male of which I know is textbook in their "oil shortage" mentality..married or single. They are interested in getting to the pump before the next "oil shortage."
Not much depth here and most thinking women know this.
What you are describing here is a bunch of men in situations where all other brainwave activity has flat lined. Problem is that your brainwave activity had not flat lined and hence you are going to see and think differently.

I have been around a number of women who are coming on to me and I was not interested...and they persisted even though I told them no. Some women in private can be quite aggressive.
I begin with the standard "No thanks" "I'm not interested in that." That is sufficient for most women. However....there is a variety of women out here very aggressive.and they don't want to take no for an answer. They think they can "persuade " you that you are missing out on a rare opportunity.

This requires a more firm and steady hand..also a very convincing look. What you have to do is get them to do something quite rare for alot of people. You have to get them to think outside the box of what they tend to think is excellence in conduct...belief systems.
You have to get them to understand that you mean it...and can in fact think outside the box.

I simply look them straight in the eye and ask them what they have or know ...that I cannot get more or better from someone else.
What are they going to do for me that I cannot get more or better from someone else.
I let them know that there is no "oil shortage here...what other tools or skills do they have in their tool box that I cannot get more or better ..from someone else....elsewhere.

Almost none of them are accustomed to thinking outside the box..period. Nor running into people who can think outside the box..

Oh..and pardon the crudity ..but every pun in tended here.

I have taught this to a number of women as well. One of them I heard speaking to a man on the CB radio who was constantly coming on to her whenever she would key the microphone.
One day ...she tired of it and point blank told him..."OK...lets cut the crap here. Your hot stuff ..right??? So what are you going to do for me that I cannot get more or better somewhere else??"

The dead air space told everything that day.

He never bothered her again on the airwaves.
I laughed my backside off upon hearing her take him down in such a manner.
Most men are accustomed to women being more passive while they play their pubescent games.

A woman will more than let you know when she is interested or ready if one is aware of the signs. It is not difficult but it takes patience and observation for the signs are often subtle when compared to what passes for male socialization standards..or non standards.

And no... a female buying me a drink does not mean I am ready to mount her on command like mounting a horse...et al. I do not understand why a male would think this when buying a female a drink.

OH..and another thing...Sheye. I appreciate the female form as much if not more than the next male out here. I do not care much for drunk women. If that is what it takes to get a woman in bed...I must ask myself what is her real intrinsic value in this world??
Do not misunderstand me here. I like a drink and especially a good drink with good food and good company. I just dont care for a "career " in alcohol consumption.
I babysat enough drunk males when I was in uniform to make sure they got back to the dorm. I am not looking foreward to a career in this today with females who cannot hold their drink...or must drink to feel like getting in the sack.
Drunk males are to me pitiful and disgusting. Drunk females are pitiful and disgusting as well.

Hope this helps to put some perspective on what is happening among the wildlife out here.
Wildlife in its natural habitat.
Dont get frustrated..but teach yourself to observe and think outside the box.
Learn to put salt on a slug if need be. Male and female slugs both.
You dont have to take crap off any of them as a lifestyle or to be civil.
Let them know you can be salty if need be.

Thanks,
Orangetom
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Postby sheye » Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:55 am

Sheye,

Interesting thread. Pretty much textbook in places.

I'm going to take some time and make a comparison here...for which I don't actually think many males can think outside this box that nature seems to have put them in and prevents their thinking..outside very narrow corridors.

I often compare males to male guppies or male mollies in a fish tank. Ever watch them?? You should. The males here approach the females and wag their tails..to see if the female is interested. If not they go around the tank to another female and wag their tail again.
They never seem to ask themselves what is wrong with this game?? Understand now? They are just reacting to a stimulus...an instinct.
I call this "trying out" like baseball tryouts for the team. It is a kind of sports conditioning...to run for the touchdown or home run. They never ask themselves what is wrong with the game. They automatically assume it is the only game in town. Understand??

Don't get me wrong here, I am not justifying this conduct...I am only explaining by comparison....what this conduct appears to me to be in similarity. Very few peoples, male or female, seem to ask themselves what is wrong with this game...single or married.

Your point about your married friend is noted.

I will tell you ..I have had the same thing from married women. They just tend to be more subtle in it than most men are accustomed.

If you have lost a friend over this ..they were never your friend. Most likely they were just territorial ..well beyond friendship. And women are very territorial..in a manner not known by many men....once again subtlety..but territorial nonetheless.

The average male of which I know is textbook in their "oil shortage" mentality..married or single. They are interested in getting to the pump before the next "oil shortage."
Not much depth here and most thinking women know this.
What you are describing here is a bunch of men in situations where all other brainwave activity has flat lined. Problem is that your brainwave activity had not flat lined and hence you are going to see and think differently.

I have been around a number of women who are coming on to me and I was not interested...and they persisted even though I told them no. Some women in private can be quite aggressive.
I begin with the standard "No thanks" "I'm not interested in that." That is sufficient for most women. However....there is a variety of women out here very aggressive.and they don't want to take no for an answer. They think they can "persuade " you that you are missing out on a rare opportunity.

This requires a more firm and steady hand..also a very convincing look. What you have to do is get them to do something quite rare for alot of people. You have to get them to think outside the box of what they tend to think is excellence in conduct...belief systems.
You have to get them to understand that you mean it...and can in fact think outside the box.

I simply look them straight in the eye and ask them what they have or know ...that I cannot get more or better from someone else.
What are they going to do for me that I cannot get more or better from someone else.
I let them know that there is no "oil shortage here...what other tools or skills do they have in their tool box that I cannot get more or better ..from someone else....elsewhere.

Almost none of them are accustomed to thinking outside the box..period. Nor running into people who can think outside the box..

Oh..and pardon the crudity ..but every pun in tended here.

I have taught this to a number of women as well. One of them I heard speaking to a man on the CB radio who was constantly coming on to her whenever she would key the microphone.
One day ...she tired of it and point blank told him..."OK...lets cut the crap here. Your hot stuff ..right??? So what are you going to do for me that I cannot get more or better somewhere else??"

The dead air space told everything that day.

He never bothered her again on the airwaves.
I laughed my backside off upon hearing her take him down in such a manner.
Most men are accustomed to women being more passive while they play their pubescent games.

A woman will more than let you know when she is interested or ready if one is aware of the signs. It is not difficult but it takes patience and observation for the signs are often subtle when compared to what passes for male socialization standards..or non standards.

And no... a female buying me a drink does not mean I am ready to mount her on command like mounting a horse...et al. I do not understand why a male would think this when buying a female a drink.

OH..and another thing...Sheye. I appreciate the female form as much if not more than the next male out here. I do not care much for drunk women. If that is what it takes to get a woman in bed...I must ask myself what is her real intrinsic value in this world??
Do not misunderstand me here. I like a drink and especially a good drink with good food and good company. I just dont care for a "career " in alcohol consumption.
I babysat enough drunk males when I was in uniform to make sure they got back to the dorm. I am not looking forward to a career in this today with females who cannot hold their drink...or must drink to feel like getting in the sack.
Drunk males are to me pitiful and disgusting. Drunk females are pitiful and disgusting as well.

Hope this helps to put some perspective on what is happening among the wildlife out here.
Wildlife in its natural habitat.
Dont get frustrated..but teach yourself to observe and think outside the box.
Learn to put salt on a slug if need be. Male and female slugs both.
You dont have to take crap off any of them as a lifestyle or to be civil.
Let them know you can be salty if need be.

Thanks,
Orange Tom


absolutely AWESOME post orange tom....and the wisdom in this post is much appreciated...from me as well as any others who need to understand the wisdom behind those words.....thankyou...you have made me think,and realize, how the best way to go out about being honest can be a mix off both subtly and directness,depending on the situation.

I love this post on this thread...grateful for you to take the time to put it into words and share with all of us :)
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Postby Lashmar » Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:28 pm

I have been around a number of women who are coming on to me and I was not interested...and they persisted even though I told them no. Some women in private can be quite aggressive.
I begin with the standard "No thanks" "I'm not interested in that." That is sufficient for most women. However....there is a variety of women out here very aggressive.and they don't want to take no for an answer. They think they can "persuade " you that you are missing out on a rare opportunity.


Spot on. The worse thing to do is tell a woman that you're either "taken" or "not interested" though; some women will see that as a challenge that can't be passed up, they want to know if they're sexy enough to persuade a man who's clearly not interested in this, it's basically a nice ego petting session for them.
Read between the lies
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Postby sheye » Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:02 pm

Spot on. The worse thing to do is tell a woman that you're either "taken" or "not interested" though; some women will see that as a challenge that can't be passed up, they want to know if they're sexy enough to persuade a man who's clearly not interested in this, it's basically a nice ego petting session for them.


kmmmpphhhphh..sorry have to chuckle a bit at this.. :lol: ;)

You can't be serious about the above quote lash, that has got to be the farthest thing, from the usual truth (sounds like a lil' bit of an egocentric slant on things, might have blurred the clear vision, at some points)

Most woman do not like coming on to men, that tell them, they are otherwise "spoken for" ,so to speak, that is more of a man thing than anything.....the chances of the "taken" man, not letting anyone know,or "acting" otherwise, can be very suspicious in intent,especially if he feigns that the other woman just couldn't resist him, cause he told them, he was taken....what a load of crock..... 8-) :? :roll: :lol: :lol: ..
and just cause you compliment a man, doesn't mean your coming on to him either,or if you compliment a woman as woman,should they take it as anything more than a sincere compliment.

Some people are so wrapped up in them selves,they can't see what the reality of something really is..and I am saying that there are women who do that, but rarer, than the statistics of a man lying about his "relationship" status.

I always have to chuckle at the ego brained guys,who try, and try to charm you ,with their rather irritating self promoting ways, :| (maybe just the mood I'm in at the time), but these guys are so wrapped up in them selves,that they have the audacity to say to themselves, or worse yet, to others in public,..something to the effect of,
the following.
"oh,, she must be gay, if she can't see what she's missing in a guy like me" ...next there dirty lil' minds want you to go be "gay " in front of them,cause they don't mind watching...ugghhh..how insulting (these are not real men,in my opinion,just babies who need a lot of growing up to do)

THE FACT THAT I AM NOT GAY,BUT WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE EGOCENTRIC NUMBSKULL, IS BEYOND WHAT HIS PATHETIC LIL BRAIN CAN FATHOM, THROUGH THE ILLUSION OF HIMSELF.!

(SIGHS) its really quit sad at times..the misperceptions,misconceprtions,that lead to broken dignities,and broken feelings, along with broken hearts.

I've actually had that happen to me,and I wouldn't doubt other woman on this website have....perhaps men as well ,in the opposite sort of situation.

nuff ranting here...
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Postby Lashmar » Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:22 am

sheye wrote:
Spot on. The worse thing to do is tell a woman that you're either "taken" or "not interested" though; some women will see that as a challenge that can't be passed up, they want to know if they're sexy enough to persuade a man who's clearly not interested in this, it's basically a nice ego petting session for them.


kmmmpphhhphh..sorry have to chuckle a bit at this.. :lol: ;)

You can't be serious about the above quote lash, that has got to be the farthest thing, from the usual truth (sounds like a lil' bit of an egocentric slant on things, might have blurred the clear vision, at some points)

Most woman do not like coming on to men, that tell them, they are otherwise "spoken for"


My dear...don't touch the cookie jar. ;) It's the same thing; when someone is told not to touch it they do; when someone is told someone isn't interested in them they try to make that person interested in them because they see it as a challenge,
Read between the lies
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Postby sheye » Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:32 am

My dear...don't touch the cookie jar. It's the same thing; when someone is told not to touch it they do; when someone is told someone isn't interested in them they try to make that person interested in them because they see it as a challenge,



Does this explain your incessant fascination with the woman you love to hate? whats her name??.....the one you prove right with her statements ,by acting the way you do around her...if I was sitting at her table when you kept incessantly bothering her that way, I'd get up and "clock" you in the "bollocks".....
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Postby Lashmar » Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:44 am

sheye wrote:Does this explain your incessant fascination with the woman you love to hate? whats her name??.....the one you prove right with her statements ,by acting the way you do around her...if I was sitting at her table when you kept incessantly bothering her that way, I'd get up and "clock" you in the "bollocks".....


Somewhat yes. :lol: I dislike her and all women of her elk and they all know it. I act poorly at her, not around her; there is a diffrence, if I were to be acting poorly around her I would be treating all women poorly but I only treat her poorly.

I don't like Feminist, at all, and I think I'm well within my rights to upset them in anyway I feel like simply because they are the one's out of line not me. I haven't legalised "positive discrimination" against men have I now? No. I don't go around telling little boys that they're going to be a terrible father and they're only purpose in life is to impregnate women and then bugger off do I? No. I don't treat men like crap simply because they're men either, unlike feminist.

I treat them how they say they're treated because I've given up trying to change their way of thinking.

Men have two weeks maternity leave yet women have a year and feminists have begrudged us men having three months off for it...that is what "equality" is to these women, it's all Equal so long as they're being treated better than everyone else.
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Postby Lashmar » Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:01 am

I think what would be fun is to get the policies of feminist and change every word "female" into "Male" just to see what their reaction would be.Simply put these are all ridiculous but because I've change the word "women" for "men" they look even worse; these are all what men have to put up with here by the way, the thing that really gets me is how they tell young lads they're going to be bad fathers all the time.

Men should be given a job above women even if the man is less qualified.

Men should get a years maternity leave while the women get 2 weeks.

Women are terrible mothers therefore they shouldn't ever be given the child if they get divorced, and they have to pay for everything the kid needs and give up the house.

Women are terrible at almost everything and should not be allowed into politics and they should always have a male boss if they ever do get into it.

The Minister of women will change it's name to the Minister of Men.

We should start pumping into kids that women are pedophiles and that men are absolutely fine. While we're at it we should make every woman get a background check if they want to work around kids but we'll let the men go through if they have children themselves.

Most importantly young boys should be told they're going to be fantastic fathers and young girls should be told they're going to be terrible mothers, all the time no matter what they do...this should be reinforced in TV as well just to make sure they understand how terrible they're going to be.



Now tell me...why do feminist see it as acceptable that men should be treated in such way? That really is, basically, what men have to put up with and it's been made worse by the government legalizing Positive discrimination which says that women should be given a job over a man even if she is less qualified!

The woman who came up with that, our lovely Harriet Harman, should be thrown in prison for it.
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