The Black Vault

Answer:-

You have to punch information into both of them.

ok...my post just disa peared into cyber black hole....so I need to start again

mael....just curious?..
is the fool who built the tool, better than the tool?
or is the fool who programed the fool, to program the tool...really all at
fault....in the programming department?

like your links lash..those brits can get pretty crass with their humour..
and they are not afraid to tell it as they see it..
a bit of comedy/tragedy all thrown into a bag....
I do love listening to their accents though,same as enjoy a good "southern" accent....or a french one...
mael...what do you sound like?
how many dialects of japanese do you speak?
would love to hear everyones voice that visits this forum...
I love the sound of voice...
I hope I still get to hear them when I leave this "dimension"
I will miss my eyes as well

The worse accent though goes to Liverpool; I don't know what the hell they put into the water up there but the girls are stunning but the accent ruins it, if you ask me it's why the Victorians women should be seen and not heard (bloody good idea if you ask me ).

The best accent has got to be little Johnathan Davis, I can't find any clips of him sadly but he's got a lovely Welsh accent.

It was moved to the old Rambling forum.

I'm a rambler.I'm a gambler
I'm a midnight tandler

playing my music in my mind....

ok..now that we know this is endless ramblings ..we can pretty much have free reighn on the rambles we choose to ramble on about....

I really want to tell my fighting irish catholic joke....but..to be honest..

I'm scared of rejection on it...yet thats why I want to test it on you people.so..I can get some honest editing ideas...(thinking of becoming a stand up comedian...I said..thinking about it )

The irish catholic girl would be one in the bit..as well as the "iTALIAN Momma" joke.....but I'm scared to test them out

But I guess I should get used to cyber tomatoes being thrown at me,
before I give the opportunity to a "live" audience..with real hecklars and all (although I would plant a few in my act heh heh)

ok...here goes..I'm taking the plunge,,and starting the joke..(sighs)

there once was this lovely lil Catholic Irish lassie,who was on a mission to talk to the "hells Angels"

She entered a corner pub, in small town, thinking to take wee break,and have a pint or two.

when the bartendar asked her,what she was looking for, she calmly said, "a pint of your best guiness good sir,and if you could please help me out on one of my quests,it would be deeply appreciated"(please insert Irish accent when she speaks...it really helps the joke flow better..also easier to do live )

the bartendar was happy to oblige her with her pint,and curiously asked her, what her quest was?

to which she replied..."aye....I'm on a mission....me soul is telling me I need to talk to the "hells angels",and I'm not quite sure how I would go about it.

The bartendar,pauses,looking a bit kerfuffled, and replies.
"hhhhmmm...I find it odd you should say that today lass,
but I guess, it tis your lucky day luv.
A group of them were riding through town on their way to some rally,
one of their bikes broke down,and they are in the back room,waiting on a quick fix,having a pint. Please feel free, to go and talk to them,some are not having a good day though,so I may warn you, some may be in a bit of a foul temper."

well the Irish girl is beyond herself with joy...
saying quite gleefully "tis me lucky day..aye..tis"

(more on this joke coming later...it is good ..I think )

okay..its later...

so the Irish girl takes her pint and ,and takes the journey to the back room.

As she enters, all eyes look on her, and she says "I hear ya fellas are the hells angels ,and I was wonderin' if yuz had some kinda leader , like a pope ,or sometin' , that I could speak with?"

well, you well imagine that some of these"fellas" smiled,and one even said,

"well young lassie,we don't have a pope,but we do have a president,
and that would be him,sitting right over there,in a bit of a foul temper,because he had the unfortunate ,good fortune ,of his bike breaking down."

well...some are geting quite amused,but she continues on,
looking towards the president,and giving him a nod.

"very nice to meet you mr .president,and I was wondering if you could help me out on a quest?"
There is a bad rumour in me clan that my grandpappy died ,and went to hell,and I was wonderin' if one of your boyz,could go and find him for me?"

well of course many chuckles broke out, and the president just looked at her with a dead stare,(not in a good mood), and said to the young Irish girl...."and why would that be a quest?"

(the rest to follow)

( continuation...of Irish girl joke)

the Irish catholic girl,looks upon the face of the president,and tenderly says
"well, mr. president, I believe your boyz can find me grandpappy, considering they are angels,and if theyz do find me grandpappy,I would love to forward a message to him,from I?"

"if your boyz could so kindly tell him, that I don't why hes in hell,and I don't care to know why, but I will alwayz love him for the day he beat the livin' piss outa Johnny McGee,....the lil bugger would never leave me alone,when I was about doin me chores,and after many advances from him, some of which got physical, I was beside myself on how to take care if this pesky problem. It was me grand pappy who had the lil "talk " with Johnny McGee, letting him no in no uncertain terms,that he would not be allowed to ever pester me again, or he would not live through the next beating, as he had been allowed to live through this one. Me grand pappy was a tough lil wirey fighter when he needed to be "

(final part of the joke coming up soon)

(the catholic Irish girl continues)

" so, mr president, if you angelz do run onto me grand pappy ,and prove this rumour in me clan to be true,could you please let him know,I'll alwayz love him,for for the day he beat the piss outa johnny Mcgee,and just so he knows,johnny was at his wake,and did confess to me that me grandpappy had taught him a "lesson of his lifetime".and he was grateful, and honored to have learnt the lesson from such a fine charater as me grandpappy."

(The end...but not really...cause the whole joke needs a lil readjustment
I do have endings in mind beyond the one I chose for this thread...and they are all ok...it needs a better ending?..don't you think?
something the prez would say back..?)

any feed back on this joke is well appreciated,
Lash..I know you could add all kinds of things,and have some great fun with it, let me know how you think it could be improved,for stand up quality performance ..

I appreciate anyones input