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How do you deal with a friends husband coming on to you?

Let's face it - we all have them. Come on in to offer advice, or maybe get some advice.

Postby mael » Thu Feb 04, 2010 2:57 pm

I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm just saying it as I see it from my perspective.

When I have written what I think on this topic before I usually get a response like yours, but I don't care. You just see things differently from me. Only once did a lady write nicely of me on the matter of me managing more than one woman. She said at least it meant there were fewer lonely woman in the world. Lonely people are in plague proportions these days.

* On the surface what I wrote could be taken as ego - but think about it! I've been like this all my adult life and it's normal for me to have several lovers - just like whatever you have done is normal for you.

As you are the sort who will sleep with friends of husband's/boyfriends then I would like to give some good advice to you which will stop you ever becoming trapped. That is to not-lie or keep secrets from the significant other you happen to be with. If you cannot resist lying to your lover then it's not going to work out between you two.

Hey! Be nice! Next time I'll be offended when you call me a creep! 8-)
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Postby sandra » Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:43 pm

mael atleast you are honest right, thats alot more than what you can expect out of most people. But it doesn't surprise me that you live in Japan- Didnt you say you are in Japan? Isn't it more common over there? Had my son at a playground and was talking to a man that had children from Japan, his wife and him live there but were visiting the US. The man told me one child was from an affair, that his wife was well aware of, and supported, as her mother also supported him having girlfriends on the side!? :? hmm Was kind of weird how he just started telling me these things- mael you have never been to Minnesota have you? :mrgreen: :lol: ;)
“Living backwards!” Alice repeated in great
astonishment. “I never heard of such a thing!”
“—but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s
memory works both ways.”
— Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass
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Postby sheye » Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:17 pm

Only once did a lady write nicely of me on the matter of me managing more than one woman. She said at least it meant there were fewer lonely woman in the world. Lonely people are in plague proportions these days.

Quite frankly mael, i know woman who have sex with many men,and are still very lonely...men as well. having sex is in noway shape or form a substitute for lonliness...as a matter of fact i think it can contribute to it.

As you are the sort who will sleep with friends of husband's/boyfriends then I would like to give some good advice to you which will stop you ever becoming trapped


Not quite sure where you came up with that judgement..if you read the post again you will see that I slept with my husbands friend, who was also my friend after we had split up,and I did tell my ex about because it just felt wrong (he also tried again when i was over getting my computer fixed,and i told him him I thought it was a real bad idea,and we should never have done it in the first place)..the irony of it all is that when my ex questioned him about ,because I was honest about it, the little snake had the nerve to say he didn't remember a thing about cause he was so drunk. I was drunk too mael,and it was poor judgement but I would never use that lame ass excuse. It doesn't explain why he tried again when he was completely sober ,but Oh well (shrugs). The only good thing that has come out of it is that I saw his true colors which is always a good thing I guess.
* On the surface what I wrote could be taken as ego - but think about it! I've been like this all my adult life and it's normal for me to have several lovers - just like whatever you have done is normal for you.


On the surface ?? "coughs"..yeah ok....by the way mael..the only one who wasn't honest in this situation was my ex-husbands friend, I don't have to much a problem with being honest(although I haven't always been in other type of situations),and quite frankly I wish my ex would have been more honest with me at times,as well as his friend be honest with him. So mael you can take you assumptions of me as well as your "advice" and keep it for your "stalkers".
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Postby sandra » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:01 pm

sheye,
Why did you decide to cross boundaries like that in the first place with an exhusbands friend when there was nothing to be made of it?
I'm sure there were alot more plenty guys you could have had a better experience with?
“Living backwards!” Alice repeated in great
astonishment. “I never heard of such a thing!”
“—but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s
memory works both ways.”
— Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass
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Postby sheye » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:16 pm

sheye,
Why did you decide to cross boundaries like that in the first place with an exhusbands friend when there was nothing to be made of it?
I'm sure there were alot more plenty guys you could have had a better experience with?


Because I made a mistake Sandra,and the influence of alcohol didn't help.
The thing is sandra I admitted my mistake ,not only to my ex..but to his "friend" as well, something he couldn't do obviously since he tried to pretend like it didn't happen,and completely covered up the fact that he tried again.

I have never claimed to be perfect sandra,and I have made mistakes in my life...but I try the best i can to admit own up to them.

Have you ever done anything that you regret sandra? Said anything that you regret? Like I I already said in the previous post.it was extremely poor judgemnet on my part, and I was honest about that both to my ex as well as his friend.

Anything else you would like to "judge" me on sandra...considering you are one not to judge and love unconditionally?
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Postby sandra » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:25 pm

No of course I've made decisions that have made my life challenging at times.
Was just wondering why you wasted a minute on the guy, sounds like a jerk, and someone that was suppose to be your friend. Obviously he seen your friendship for another opportunity, and yeah, booze doesn't always help create the best scenarios, thats for sure. Doesn't keep me from going out every once in while. :mrgreen:
“Living backwards!” Alice repeated in great
astonishment. “I never heard of such a thing!”
“—but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s
memory works both ways.”
— Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass
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Location: Minnesota US

Postby sheye » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:39 pm

Was just wondering why you wasted a minute on the guy, sounds like a jerk, and someone that was suppose to be your friend.


Sometimes it takes certain events to happen before you see the "jerkiness". There are also some jerks who are very good at hiding the fact till they get exposed. The name John Edwards ,and Bill Clinton come to mind, and I'm pretty darn sure theres alot more out there.
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Postby sheye » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:51 pm

Obviously he seen your friendship for another opportunity, and yeah, booze doesn't always help create the best scenarios, thats for sure. Doesn't keep me from going out every once in while.



I don't think booze is the big evil, but I do think too much impairs the judgement. I probably need to get out more,and knock back a few and listen to some good live music like I used to....the key is a few ...I do not like losing my balance even in the slightest. Actually just having good ol natures white wine (water) is always a must while you're drinking, but waitresses don't like bringing it to you unless you tip them very generously for it. I've paid 5 bucks for a glass of water on more than one occasion, cause I value it so much. Should probably start ordering the bottled stuff..

I wonder if this thread will ever get back on track, it seems to easy to lose focus on what things were intended to be discussed, and I'm guilty of that as well.
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Postby greeney2 » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:39 pm

Quite frankly any man who has to brag about how good he is sexually usually isn't worth a damn...I think you might even be making all this up.


While I may agree with you on this Sheye, it was you that thought it was important to tell everyone about the genetic gift of your breast size. :lol:
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Postby sheye » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:54 pm

While I may agree with you on this Sheye, it was you that thought it was important to tell everyone about the genetic gift of your breast size


Read my post again greeney..and show me where I said it was a genetic gift..I actually called it a curse not a gift. I merely stated the fact that genetics had handed me big boobs didn't seem to help with the whole matter of unwanted attention from other womens husbands.

Please show me where I said it was a genetic gift?? please. If you reread the thread you will see it was sandra who told me I should be proud of them or something to that effect....c'mon greeney..please show me where I was "bragging" about big boobs..please.

You'll notice that sandra also tried to infer that they weren't real...which doesn't surprise me... trust me if I had the money I would pay for a reduction. Double D's will never help in finding true love, they are more of a curse than a blessing....and thats why I was jealous of the flat chested girls who had the boyfriends.. (although I was told at some point that they had the boy friend cause they gave a good "blowjob").so I guess its all a matter of how you look at it..and who you believe.

You really need to read the thread more carefully ..and then come back and tell me that I was "bragging" about genetic blessing :roll:
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