The Black Vault

wolfshadow wrote:Why do people take back there cheating spouse?I have nerver understood that at all. If my wife cheated on me end of story there would be no second chances and vice versa.I am curious on this.

I agree. Cheat on me, there is no second chance. There is only you. Getting the F*** out.

Why do people take back there cheating spouse?I have nerver understood that at all. If my wife cheated on me end of story there would be no second chances and vice versa.I am curious on this.


I agree. Cheat on me, there is no second chance. There is only you. Getting the F*** out.

Yeah..some people are pathetic...losers..LOSERS!!
You two are obviously winners..above all that...humaness
Heck such losers..so weak..heck..they DESERVE to get cheated on..right?..Winners?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6-jvKvGn4g

here's something you should maybe ask yourself instead of blaiming the victim..

"Why would someone stay with a cheater?"

How about..

"Why would someone cheat???!!!!!!!!"


When somone is raped and murdered by a serial killer ar eyou all like, "Geeze..stoopid..they got themselves raped and murdered"

Instead of "What kind of sick F goes around raping and murdering??!!"


But ..hey..maybe you can judge because you've been through it..and left the f-er

Maybe you have been married to somebody for nearly twenty years, you thought, failrly blissfully..thought the world of them, even... and then one day noticed they are being WAY more cruel and distant than usual (even on their worst, moodiest days)..and then researched..and found out the horrible truth of it..another lover...confronted them..to be met by tears and regret..and some bullshit too..for a long WHILE..all the time this is going on, your child or children are going "please dont leave mommy/daddy"... and this person, who you now realize has been cheating for half your marriage, probably..but they ain't talking..they aren't filing for divorce..oh no..they want to make up..full of regret..they've "learned their lesson"...it's on YOU..if a divorce comes..you..who DID NOTHING WRONG..have to be the bad guy..the one who decides to officially break up the family..but your child/children are looking up at you "Please don't break up our family!!??"..your ..turns out disloyal love..who you really..loved...begs for one more chance..to gtow old together..also you learn through research...men cheat..eventually...ALL (most)..(no..all) of them

yeah

if it ain't happened to you yet....you are certainly BEGGING the universe to "bring it on"
(cause if you're a guy..you'll eventually do it..and eventually get what's coming to you..if you;re a gal it'll be done to you..eventually..also if you a a really shite gal..you'll do it..if you're with a real shite of a gal..she'll do it to you..because right now..on;u real shite females are doing it, too..like all the shite men(so many..all) but the number of female shites is GROWING)

also..
I was thinking on this..

if you dump somebody who you found out was cheating..right off the bat..if they want forgiveness and to try again..even though they were being completely douchy..if you dump them..just like that..then YOU have cheapened love...too..as much as they have..


somebody has to give an F

Maybe you have been married to somebody for nearly twenty years, you thought, failrly blissfully..thought the world of them, even... and then one day noticed they are being WAY more cruel and distant than usual (even on their worst, moodiest days)..and then researched..and found out the horrible truth of it..another lover...confronted them..to be met by tears and regret..and some bullshit too..for a long WHILE..all the time this is going on, your child or children are going "please dont leave mommy/daddy"... and this person, who you now realize has been cheating for half your marriage, probably..but they ain't talking..they aren't filing for divorce..oh no..they want to make up..full of regret..they've "learned their lesson"...it's on YOU..if a divorce comes..you..who DID NOTHING WRONG..have to be the bad guy..the one who decides to officially break up the family..but your child/children are looking up at you "Please don't break up our family!!??"..your ..turns out disloyal love..who you really..loved...begs for one more chance..to gtow old together..also you learn through research...men cheat..eventually...ALL (most)..(no..all) of them

Words have an interesting reflection on people.

This is for when a sub is unhappy but it will work for anything than requires communication:

Sit down with your partner with a little egg timer. Set if for five minuets and have one person talking and the other listening without interrupting and at the end of the five minuets switch. You’ll get a lot more said and listened to with this sort of communication rather than if you just sat down and spoke without structure or rules.

Think about what you need to say as well, what do you need to know and why do you want to know it. You’ve asked what you think you need to know (What did I do wrong, were you always unhappy with me) now ask what you do really need to know (If I’m falling are you going to catch me? I have a problem can I tell you about it? Them sort of questions.).

An hour of talking like that every now and again and the world would be a better place.

Drop the anger when you do it as well love. Men can’t handle angry women (hence why we have business trips when it’s coming up to your period ), sad fine but angry…hell no.

Anger makes women irrational where it just makes men violent (make me agitated).

Heck such losers..so weak..heck..they DESERVE to get cheated on..right?..Winners?

No no, no one deserves to get cheated on. Same as no one deserves to get raped, or murdered. They are certainly the victims. But really there is not a lot you can do once it's down, and so even though it's their fault, in most instances I feel that you owe it to yourself to remove yourself from the situation. The exception would be when kids are involved. Then I don't claim to be so wise as to know the solution to the problem, it's much more complex with children.

Then I don't claim to be so wise as to know the solution to the problem, it's much more complex with children.

Sometimes you need to be on the outside to see inside.

Sit down with your partner with a little egg timer. Set if for five minuets and have one person talking and the other listening without interrupting and at the end of the five minuets switch. You’ll get a lot more said and listened to with this sort of communication rather than if you just sat down and spoke without structure or rules.

sounds like one of those aborigonee "talking stick" kinds of things..

look..HE got me irrational..I wa snot irrational before

This happened three years ago..he's still here..I'm still here..we HAVE BOTH chosen to stay...the anger has dissipated a-lot (believe it or not)

I get it out, here, now

The damage is done..the healing is slow..the scar will remain for life

Our marriage..and both of us in it are like wolves who got caught in a hunter's trap and escaped..we lived..we now walk with limp..life is still good..there are real good days...we just..limp..from now on..learning to walk around the limp

This crap is common.

If you've never been in a longterm realtionship (one that has at least gone on for a couple years)you can't really relate

just..do yourself a favor..and heed the warnings..see the kind of insnaity this kind of selfish behavior creates..murder..suicide..divorce..heart/soul wounds that refuse to heal
IT'S NOT WORTH IT..your gentials and ego will tell you it is..they'll rationlize and whisper every lie into your mind they can come up with to get you to give in to it..heck..our society glamourizes it while hiding how destructive it truly is..this kind of behavior..
the urges will be strong..but you HAVE to be stronger..otherwise you WILL wreck your life..and probably the life or lives of people you deep down geniunely love..not some "pretty cum lately"..though you will land up hurting THAT PERSON too..as well as..mostly..yourself
(warning others is my "therapy"..my way of coping..so hopefully the pain doesn't go completely wasted)

don't shite where you eat..so to speak

Hahahah. Warnings can be hard to listen to or see can't they. I know that all too well.

Never been in a relationship that lasted over a year, but close. By the 8 months of living together stage of the operation, I was pretty attached. If I was cheated on, I would be very very angry. Hopefully I wouldn't actually catch them in the act or someone would be getting a shit-kicking, be it him or me.
But either way, I know for sure I wouldn't be capable of forgiving. It'd be an indefinite "get your stuff and get out, right now"