Here's an old one...posted it a few years ago... re-posting for your enjoyment,
The Cuckoo Clock
The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys.
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed too quickly and the beers went down way too easy and
by 3am, feeling more than a little tipsy, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times!
I immediately realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, "Midnight!" I said proudly! She didn't seem disturbed at all.
"Whew! Got away with that one!" I thought...
Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh sh*t!" cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more then then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
So much for quick solutions
Not saying this was me....but then again...memory fades with time