The Black Vault

sheye wrote:Not sure what you mean by that statement mael,because i really don't think my problem is loniless, i think its just sadness ,mixed in with alot of other emotions, over a lot of differnet things that I'm trying to sort out.

* Something like the Sword of Damacles - type scenario. ie - Everything looks all right, but disaster is an unpredictable moment away at the best of times and the whole lot goes feet-up with any wrong moves. - A balancing act with a dark abbys on either side. - If I want to make an argument and mess things up I could do it in any number of easy ways. - Especially if I was drinking.

I know that sounds like a mixed up woman kind of thing to say,but i don't even understand it myself. It seems like such a crazy mixed up world, with a lot of stress building up on so many people for so many different reasons....and quite frankly at times I just want out.

* I'm right with you there. And I have once made a serious effort in that department. I am now comfortable with the idea that the timing of my transition to spiritual being is not my call - much as I would like it otherwise from time to time. "One" hangs on in quiet desperation - as the Pink Floyd told me decades ago. Is it just the English way?

I don't want to have to worry about feeding a body,clothing it, keeping it warm, or cool...I want to live in the spiritual realm where i can be where I'm needed in a split second..(if thats possible)

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Me too. Sometimes I think we may be in both worlds anyway - I am sure our five senses deceive us with the illusion we can sense everything.

* I'm comfortable with the idea of physical death - as a concept. I welcome and look forward to it - as a concept.

*

But for me, nothing is worth while without love. Love is behind everything I do. Perhaps I put it on a pedestal? Without women to love and do things for I'd probably express love in a garden or my art.

*

* I don't do alcohol - but I do do other stuff. Nothing illegal - I just found things which can bend the mind which are legal and found out how to prepare them.

sheye wrote:I don't want to have to worry about feeding a body,clothing it, keeping it warm, or cool...I want to live in the spiritual realm where i can be where I'm needed in a split second..(if thats possible)

Thats really a wonderful thing to think about. Don't want to say to much more on that, but its something I like to think about. Being able to act on a moments notice.

No, its twilight zone! Beethovan's 5th would be dot dot dot daaaa , dot dot dot daaaa!

Get the message now?

thats like a musicain writing a song, with lyrics, who feels everyone should listen to the song the way he intended it to be,but once it hits the ears of another,it becomes their song,the way they here it,they way they want to percieve it to be

get it?

I am what I am

and thats all that I am

(who said these words)?

does anyone want to take a guess?

popeye

The Smiling Angel

There was once a smiling angel

on the ancient church of Niema

who has smiled down the ages

but of recent years it seems

her tender smile has vanished

to a somber look of pain

and no one knows the reason

why she never smiles again

is it merely times erosion

that besmears this angels face

or has war and mad corruption

down the ages left its trace

can it be that mans perversion

so distorts this eternal plan

till at last this smiling angel

holds no more her faith in man

(a beautiful poem written in my book by a very lovely young woman who told me she had it in a dream,,please don't ask me to verify that, cause thats a tough one, I believe what people tell me at first, or I try,but often I have been fooled)

(also would like to add that I think man refers to mankind,including both genders,I guess its in the eye and mind of the reader)

will i find my way back to love?

what is love

but another 4 letter word to some

yet in many languages , in many forms

through many emotions, it means

only

what you perceive it to mean

what you wish it to mean

what you hope it can mean

what you wish and hope fot it

not to mean

I don't do alcohol - but I do do other stuff. Nothing illegal - I just found things which can bend the mind which are legal and found out how to prepare them.

NOTHING ILLEGAL??

I'm often more fearful of how the "legal" ones can damage me more than

the legal ones,and the lies behind that ball of "medicine".

I think the purest forms of medicines, are still in the traditional roots of healing, and knowedge of herbs,there is name for that kind of medicine .probably many, but I can't think of them.

the "legal" and "illegal" terms used to catagorize Gods creation in healing , as well as mans attempt to grab that knowledge,make a senseless amount of money spinning the wheels of right and wrong

don't even get me started on "legal" and "illegal",especially in the fields of some sciences.

IF YOU THINK i'M HOSTILE NOW YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET

bUT THEN AGAIN i'M TESTING SANDRAS THEORY

ITS ALL GONNA LEAD BACK TO LOVE AT SOME POINT

i ALWAYS DID LIKE A GOOD "CHALLENGE"WRAPPED UP IN A CANDY WRAPPER TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE ITS NOT REALLY A BAD THING

NAH

IT WILL ALL LEAD BACK TO THE SAME PLACE

WE ARE ALL ONE

THER IS ONLY LOVE

UNCONDITIONAL

GLORIFYING

UNREPENTIVE

LOVE

HEY SANDRA

F*** YOU AND YOUR STUPID ASS THEORIES

am I allowed to be this hostile in the battle forum?

WHO THE F*** CARES..ITS THE BATTLE FORUM

THATS WHAT ITS FOR


well that all depends on what your perception of a theory is

WHO THE F*** CARES

ITS THE BATTLE FORUM

YOU KNOW HOW WE HONORABLR SOLDIERS CAN BE

WE DON'T FUCKING CARE

THE WAR IS ON

the battle is over

BUT THE WAR GOES ON

did someone say love?

YES

then whats this war about?

LOVE

oh..ok..what are we trying to prove my fighting a battle over love

I DON'T GIVE A F*** I FIGHT FOR WHATEVER I WANT IF YOU DON'T LIKE SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS

hmmmm..seems a stange way to fight for love

WHO'S YOUR FUCKING COMMANDIMG OFFICER YOU HALF CAST IMBECCILE PEON

I SAID KILL..NOW..OR YOU WILL BE KILLED

F*** you.who made you the boss of me

LOVE..NOW EAT SHYT

no

BANG!!!!!!!!

that takes care of that half cast peon ..who made him join this army anyhow...have half a mind to LOVE THAT ***hole TO DEATH

(shrugs, oh well, what some nut cases won't do to prove another nutcase wrong)

777 you're so SPAAAAcial

shhhh .I'm on a mission..AND I ALWAYS SEE MY MISSIONS ACCOMPLISHED