Most jokes are just quick remarks you come up without really thinking about them, they're instant. I have a sharp mind so I come up with a lot of quick remarks which I can't really post for one reason or another. Some joke for your thread:
The most effective way to quit smoking...buy two nicotine patches, put them over your eye's that way you can't see your fags!
Man 1 - What do you think of Pakistanis?
Man 2 - Well I couldn't eat a whole one!
Two Jews are walking down the road with a group of Skin-heads walking towards them.
The first Jew says to the second Jew: Look at those skin-heads coming towards us Abe, I think we're in trouble here...anyway here's that £600 I owe you from last week.
The finest site in the world is not a woman on her knees...it's a Jewish stool holder on his knees, you get Jew on his knees and you can blag sawdust.
What's the difference between Microsoft Windows XP and Toyota's? Toyot's can't stop and XP can't start.
A Paki goes up to the Skin-Head living next door to him and says - "I'm a better man than you sir"
Skin-Head - "Alright, I haven't said you weren't...what makes you think you're better than me?"
Paki - "because I haven't got a Paki living next-door to me"
"If I where an optician I'd changed the sign outside my shop so the writing was really, really small and really, really blurry"