The Black Vault

It does work both ways and ya'll are free to post all the examples you want here

Why do people take back there cheating spouse?I have nerver understood that at all. If my wife cheated on me end of story there would be no second chances and vice versa.I am curious on this.

wolfshadow wrote:Why do people take back there cheating spouse?I have nerver understood that at all. If my wife cheated on me end of story there would be no second chances and vice versa.I am curious on this.

An annoying thing called love.

But can you really have love with no trust?I would think that the betrayal of trust would be the death of love.No matter how much you may love that person you would always have that in the back of your mind.

wolfshadow wrote:But can you really have love with no trust?I would think that the betrayal of trust would be the death of love.No matter how much you may love that person you would always have that in the back of your mind.

You'd think logic would trump love, but that's not how it works with most of them.

wolfshadow wrote:Why do people take back there cheating spouse?I have nerver understood that at all. If my wife cheated on me end of story there would be no second chances and vice versa.I am curious on this.

Because that's what you do. You fight and you fight and you fight until you can fight no more.


Then again...that's what I do.

Because that's what you do. You fight and you fight and you fight until you can fight no more.

Translation angry make up sex

wolfshadow wrote:But can you really have love with no trust?I would think that the betrayal of trust would be the death of love.No matter how much you may love that person you would always have that in the back of your mind.

Some people have a masochist kind of love. They live only for their spouse thinking that only their happiness is important and that their own is irrelevant.

Then there may be some people that actually believe that it may be a one time thing and want to give their spouse a second chance, as Wing-Zero said because they really do believe in the power of love.

There are also those that don't have enough self esteem to stand up for themselves and not take that crap.

I would probably fall into the first category. But obviously I don't know for sure how I would react until faced with that situation.

You'd think logic would trump love, but that's not how it works with most of them.

The truth is everybody says they would dump a cheater right away...but nobody knows what they will do unless put into that position.
You build your life around someone..well...

It usually does lead to divorce, eventually, though.
It just takes a bit for the poison to really do it's work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdX7B32j ... re=related

truth is...most long term marriages have suffered from one of the spouses (usually the H) having an affair, at some point..whether both spouses know of it or not (most never find out..like I did..or dont 'go there'..because they don't want to know)

This is one of societies big, open secrets.

It's very damaging (has been very damaging throughout human history)...this..open..secret..society...has...infidelity..

one of societies..many ways it lies to itself..one of it's...lies of ommision

"Oh..I would NEVER!!"
"Oh I would NEVER put up with...!!"

yeah...right

be careful about what you wholeheartedly proclaim you would NEVER do..or NEVER put up with..life will say "okay..let's test out that theory for yah" (people..can talk themselves into doing or not doing things..happens all the time)

"Judge not..l'est ye be judged"

it's karmic and for real

probably part of the reason I am where I am at...judging too harsh

A younger, more arrogant me use to proclaim
"I WOULD NEVER!!" and "I would NEVER put up with that!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcrEqIpi6sg
The jokes on me because now the thought of a "revenge affair" goes through my mind A-LOT ..even though it is douchie..I am way more likely to give into the urge now..but don't because of my kid (infidelity has f'd with that poor kid's world enough for one life)..plus He couldn't handle it..hell..I barely could..which is ironic..him not being able to handle it..I mean.. the phrase "dish it out, but can't take it" comes to mind
I am still with him..and still love him (even if I hate him kinda..which I did before knowing he cheated..longterm mate relationships seem to always have a love/hate thign going on, it seems..the main thing is I have lost trust and don;t feel safe with him anymore..this si the longterm damage..I feel like he is the kinda perosn who doesn;t tie deep and could dump me..just liek that..now..not a stick with it..til' death do us art,,kind,,this makes me feel really unsafe and is probabkly what will eventually get me to filing for divorce at some point.

His cheating is not the sum total of who he is and our shared experiences together

life is ..complicated

But cheating IS a real douchebag thing to do

And if I catch him again..that will be it

This is common too..the first discovered affair usually doesn't bring on the divorce filing ..the second or third one is the one that finally makes wifey say "enough is enough"..


rationalize...rationalize

That sounds like weak will power to me. Kinda like the girls who stay with guys who beat the s**t out of them on a daily basis. Not in the good, slightly sexy way either but like, the throwing of dishes and sharp kitchen utensils while crying your eyes out.

I guess that could be a good way too, if you're REALLY into it, but I dunno.