No level of understanding or knowledge would ever sate my thirst for them and I definitely think you're on to something with this feeling of understanding that becomes difficult to articulate in words. Like my friend who never had much math was solving equations in his head as though he had formal training but he didn't. He really seemed to me to have an understanding
of math without being able to articulate how he was doing it.
I remember back in the day when I thought it was possible to talk to God, I figured it (God) never spoke in words directly, well, rarely. I believed it spoke through sometimes cryptic, sometimes obvious, signs like Moses' burning bush. I also believed that God could transfer information, understanding, through a silence. I called this induction of intuitive understanding.
Not that I don't think it's possible today; I am very cautious about that as many think they're talking to God and God orders them to kill stuff, for example, when God could easily just wipe them from ever having existed and erase our minds that would even remember them.
In the video in my current sig
, Dr. Rush is connected to the chair that is the interface with a person and the ship which is called Destiny and as such he's having a dreamy visiony type thing and what he's looking for is the "master code" that will unlock full control over destiny.
Anyway, the code is so complex that while living in his own subconscious in this vision, he is given a vast amount of information, equations and sh*t, and is attempting to process it all.
It broke down to 46 which is the number of chromosomes in a human, and the code as it turns out was locked within the very basic foundation of human life. Written in our hearts, as it were.
I think you're absolutely right when you say that I might have "it" within my subconscious. Perhaps this, THIS, is my way of finding it.
I said earlier that no level of understanding would sate my thirst and I take that back (without desiring to edit per se). I think at some point I would understand how to be sated with the limited information that I have.
Reason dictates that there is absolute truth, an answer, but not what it is.